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d_mellette's favorite FMLs
Today, I finally met my long-distance boyfriend of three years for the first time in person. After an amazing dinner and movie date, we went back to his house, only for him to dump me half an hour later. Not because I wouldn't have sex with him. No, his cat doesn't like me. FML
by dragonfyre73 / 01/06/2015 at 7:32pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML
by ===== / 01/14/2014 at 12:59pm / Pakistan (Sindh) / Miscellaneous
by russianfail / 12/04/2013 at 11:24am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Broke / 12/04/2013 at 3:27am / United States (Texas) / Money
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- Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, I was travelling in a car. As I was discreetly picking my nose, we drove over a speed bump.… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus…