cyxx

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cyxx

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 38032
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cyxx's page activity

Visits<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:44pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:30pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 8:22pm<b>Inkay</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 3:50pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 11:23am<b>guineagirl</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 4:45pm<b>smartboysmart77</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 1:27pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:54am<b>zikittyzakitty</b> - the 12/26/2010 at 6:24pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 10/18/2009 at 1:28pm<b>porcupunk</b> - the 08/03/2009 at 4:54pm<b>VoltageSpike</b> - the 08/03/2009 at 4:29am<b>Julle</b> - the 07/14/2009 at 8:46am<b>SomeonePosting</b> - the 06/30/2009 at 5:01am<b>kewlcat</b> - the 06/30/2009 at 5:00am<b>chubs</b> - the 05/13/2009 at 10:33pm<b>miltonbradley</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 6:32am<b>Kevanns</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 8:53am

cyxx's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

cyxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

by bubbalicious / 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

by dundundadumb / 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 4:22pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

by just_a_bit_akwRd / 08/04/2009 at 12:15am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

by theregoesmyspermcount / 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

by Alice / 08/01/2009 at 4:15am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

by NinjaPanda88 / 08/01/2009 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I told my 8 year old daughter that she looks a lot like mommy. Now she won't come out of her room because she thinks she is ugly. FML

by loserwithlice / 07/26/2009 at 2:58pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

by re2K5 / 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm / Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto) / Money

Today, my boyfriend told my roommate about a trick he had used by filling nail holes with toothpaste when he moved out. When I came home with putty to fill the holes, there were blue spots all over the walls. She had filled them with blue gel toothpaste. Now I get to repaint, too. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2009 at 6:14pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

by MitchFail / 07/23/2009 at 2:42am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was interviewed by this TV crew who asked me what I thought of Rhode Island being voted for the second most neurotic state. I thought they said that Rhode Island was the second most erotic state. I commented. FML

by newsgirl / 07/16/2009 at 12:22am / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous