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cynide

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cynide
  • Town/Country : Suffuck, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 353
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About cynide : 69

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cynide's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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cynide's favorite FMLs

Today, my football coach thought it would be a good idea to get drunk, run to the other sideline, and scream, "WELCOME TO SPARTA, BITCH!" This would've been funny if he weren't also my dad. FML

#15960632
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31085) - you deserved it (3419)

On 04/28/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by spartanson -

Today, a kid with severe Down's came into my workplace, as he does every day. He's has an obsession with me, sitting at a table, staring and taking photos of me all day. His parents have no problem with this, because they think it's a miracle that he can focus so much attention on me for so long. FML

#15935397
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29480) - you deserved it (4613)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by notimpressed (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

#15896791
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29476) - you deserved it (21702)

On 04/23/2011 at 11:20am - kids - by parentof5 (man) - United States

Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML

#15796030
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26625) - you deserved it (2533)

On 04/15/2011 at 3:13pm - health - by madi - United States (California)

Today, I found my dead phone that had been missing for two weeks. I turned it on to see that I had only gotten 2 text messages during the two weeks. They were both from my mother. FML

#15792275
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29440) - you deserved it (5715)

On 04/15/2011 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16031) - you deserved it (34308)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I saw my unemployed 29-year-old son, who still lives with us, reading the work section of the newspaper and prayed that he was looking for a job. He was looking for the comics. FML

#15753911
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26552) - you deserved it (10761)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:19am - kids - by JT (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35990) - you deserved it (22610)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML

#13372862
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17726) - you deserved it (3454)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally had the confidence to show my girlfriend my hairy chest/stomach. I'm very self conscious about it, and get embarrassed easily. She said I looked disgusting, called me Chewbacca and broke up with me on the spot. FML

#13206157
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38289) - you deserved it (6171)

On 09/26/2010 at 5:26am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15287) - you deserved it (44859)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML

#4089919
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13568) - you deserved it (39326)

On 07/27/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked in the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML

#1467567
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8934) - you deserved it (57919)

On 04/29/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML

#1023184
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11444) - you deserved it (67389)

On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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