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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
cynide's favorite FMLs
by spartanson / 04/28/2011 at 6:28am / Miscellaneous
Today, a kid with severe Down's came into my workplace, as he does every day. He's has an obsession with me, sitting at a table, staring and taking photos of me all day. His parents have no problem with this, because they think it's a miracle that he can focus so much attention on me for so long. FML
by notimpressed / 04/26/2011 at 3:25pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous
by parentof5 / 04/23/2011 at 11:20am / United States / Kids
Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML
by madi / 04/15/2011 at 3:13pm / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/15/2011 at 2:57am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by JT / 04/12/2011 at 10:19am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML
by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 6:22am / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 12:06am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I finally had the confidence to show my girlfriend my hairy chest/stomach. I'm very self conscious about it, and get embarrassed easily. She said I looked disgusting, called me Chewbacca and broke up with me on the spot. FML
by Anonymous / 09/26/2010 at 5:26am / Vietnam (Ha Noi) / Love
Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML
by fartwoman / 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML
by Anonymous / 07/27/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked in the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 7:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML
by StewPit / 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…