cyanidesandwich

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Offline (the 11/28/2016 at 5:09am)

cyanidesandwich

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 November 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5753
  • Number of comments : 237
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About cyanidesandwich : I am an awesome guy to be around, i love this site and play some if Kixeye's facebook games in my spare time. I am also proud to say that i have seen both two girls one cup and the BME Pain olympics back to back. ( the first didnt bother me at all, but the second was kind of hard to watch)

cyanidesandwich's page activity

Visits<b>footinthemouth07</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 10:21am<b>Sia_Will</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 12:48am<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 3:16pm<b>dumbmotherinlaw</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 2:02am<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 6:36pm<b>IsathatSo</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 4:20pm<b>Tomato_Cheese</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 1:57am<b>oso97</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 8:43am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 1:10am<b>soodytheboi</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 3:16pm<b>racerboy102</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 2:41pm<b>waffleminer25</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 5:47pm<b>FigureSkater7713</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 11:00pm<b>Gooddrark</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 8:30pm<b>MiaTheMartian</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 11:49pm<b>evanvoss</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 8:02pm<b>californian21</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 12:25am<b>crack229</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 2:04pm

Fucked!<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 12:36am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 3:34am<b>iceskata</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 10:39pm<b>Rhinocerus</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 5:33am

cyanidesandwich's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of cyanidesandwich's badges

cyanidesandwich's favorite FMLs

Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML

by thatsasquee / 05/21/2011 at 2:42am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML

by lionhead14 / 05/20/2011 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

by Max Flynn / 05/20/2011 at 6:07am / Miscellaneous

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

by Bobby M / 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm / Ireland (Carlow) / Health

Today, as a prank, a friend and I tied a 10 dollar bill to a fishing line, and yanked it away from people as they reached for it. It was going really well until one of our victims pulled a knife and chased us around the block. FML

by Jackassed / 05/12/2011 at 1:53pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I puked up a centipede. FML

by vaalcrawford / 05/11/2011 at 12:59am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML

by Anon / 05/07/2011 at 2:08am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Intimacy

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

by woahitbechels / 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 11:06am / United States (South Carolina) / Kids

Today, I was in IKEA when my friends and I thought it would be fun to play hide and seek. We all hid; I was in a good hiding spot. Half an hour later, I was still there. I texted my friends to see where they were. They all left to see a movie, and forgot about me. FML

by Nicole / 04/03/2011 at 3:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML

by JJMan217 / 04/03/2011 at 3:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

by cantgetup / 04/03/2011 at 12:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2011 at 12:32am / United States / Love

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, I finally got a reply to the letter to a celebrity that I had to write for my English class. It was a restraining order. FML

by PrestonW / 02/09/2011 at 10:53am / Miscellaneous