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cyanidesandwich

Offline (the 02/26/2015 at 3:59am) | Search for a member

cyanidesandwich

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 November 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3782
  • Number of comments : 236
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About cyanidesandwich : I am an awesome guy to be around, i love this site and play some if Kixeye's facebook games in my spare time. I am also proud to say that i have seen both two girls one cup and the BME Pain olympics back to back. ( the first didnt bother me at all, but the second was kind of hard to watch)

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Visits<b>mibs3</b> - yesterday at 2:13pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:37pm<b>Driving_Gaming</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 6:09am<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 1:11am<b>raevend</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 7:07am<b>gregsgirlfriend</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 9:06am<b>Star1398</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 11:18am<b>Ranch_Dressing</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 2:04am<b>allyiscute1</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 10:23am<b>abattior</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 4:38am<b>jshakd642</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 6:32pm<b>DaRooster333</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 10:10pm<b>CTPope74</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 9:24am<b>johndog699</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 3:11am<b>Anonymous1027</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 12:28am<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 6:36am<b>Zachpro</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 12:17am<b>maj3st1cllama</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 5:36pm

Liked!<b>iceskata</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 10:39pm<b>Rhinocerus</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 5:33am

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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cyanidesandwich's favorite FMLs

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

#17288332
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32701) - you deserved it (2759)

On 07/28/2011 at 4:37pm - health - by shroooms (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I was walking to the store when I ran into one of my friends. He said he heard about my bike being stolen the day before, and that whoever took it was a heartless dick. I hadn't told anyone about the theft. FML

#17231826
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41807) - you deserved it (2837)

On 07/23/2011 at 5:27pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

#17172932
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41162) - you deserved it (6296)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38136) - you deserved it (3362)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38136) - you deserved it (3362)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML

#16304417
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21967) - you deserved it (43498)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -

Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML

#16277125
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40273) - you deserved it (5288)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by thatsasquee - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML

#16267774
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11501) - you deserved it (37537)

On 05/20/2011 at 3:05pm - misc - by lionhead14 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

#16263941
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26634) - you deserved it (14185)

On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63410) - you deserved it (9874)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, as a prank, a friend and I tied a 10 dollar bill to a fishing line, and yanked it away from people as they reached for it. It was going really well until one of our victims pulled a knife and chased us around the block. FML

#16144015
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13401) - you deserved it (53171)

On 05/12/2011 at 1:53pm - misc - by Jackassed - United States (New York)

Today, I puked up a centipede. FML

#16126004
249 comments

Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML

#16074880
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13473) - you deserved it (57182)

On 05/07/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

#15912541
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31187) - you deserved it (11532)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by woahitbechels - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

#15846054
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46431) - you deserved it (5699)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)



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