About cwaziemamma : I'm a single mom who's life revolves around my daughter in every aspect.
cwaziemamma's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
cwaziemamma's favorite FMLs
Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML
by Anonymous / 07/16/2014 at 10:49pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ballbreath / 07/16/2014 at 11:44am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML
by ADanceWithDavos / 07/07/2014 at 11:59am / United Kingdom / Animals
by possibly fucked / 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy
by forever alone / 06/19/2014 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Love
by gracezering / 06/17/2014 at 7:45am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by FirstDaddy / 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm / United States (Texas) / Geek
Today, I returned home after a four day weekend at my parents' house. Upon entering by the front door, a horrid stench assaulted my nose. Hours later I still cannot find the source of the foul odor. I'm starting to wonder if this is how it's always smelled without my knowing. FML
by Where is it coming from?! / 06/09/2014 at 10:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML
by Teu_much / 06/09/2014 at 10:33pm / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, I ran into my girlfriend by chance while out shopping. She looked different than usual. Maybe it was the wedding ring she was wearing, or how she had her arm around another gentleman, gee, I don't know. That's two years of my life wasted. FML
by wrecked / 06/09/2014 at 5:03pm / United States / Love
Today, I put my headphones on and laid down to relax to some music. I fell asleep, and woke up later to a police officer busting into my house. My neighbor had been knocking on my door, then looked through my window and saw me on my couch, and was convinced I'd died. FML
by I'm Not Dead Yet / 06/09/2014 at 3:37pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML
by 404: sense not found / 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML
by eightleggedtictac / 06/08/2014 at 11:10am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML
by Un1ucky / 06/07/2014 at 11:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…