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ctty
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  • Number of visits : 54
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

#21118643
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35259) - you deserved it (4839)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Iowa)

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

#21107985
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58445) - you deserved it (5004)

On 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm - misc - by Great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

#21098025
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36389) - you deserved it (4237)

On 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

#21097979
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40014) - you deserved it (5434)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML

#21097950
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33710) - you deserved it (4748)

On 03/27/2014 at 6:34pm - misc - by mookiemookie01 (woman) -

Today, I faced my social anxiety and went to a chip shop on my own. I tried to have a conversation with the owner, but his thick accent made it difficult. He now knows where I live, what college I go to and I'm pretty sure I agreed to go to India with him. FML

#21096939
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35237) - you deserved it (6857)

On 03/26/2014 at 2:06pm - misc - by sociallyawkward (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I learned the hard way that when I ask a cute girl if she's artistic, it sounds like I'm asking her if she's autistic. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend the dentist said my blood pressure was high. He was more interested in the fact that the dentist took my blood pressure than my blood pressure being high. FML

#21095607
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31048) - you deserved it (8702)

On 03/24/2014 at 10:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28829) - you deserved it (15279)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

#21085518
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45418) - you deserved it (4123)

On 03/13/2014 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

#21082949
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41908) - you deserved it (3696)

On 03/10/2014 at 4:22am - misc - by are you kidding me? - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

#21078055
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42572) - you deserved it (4590)

On 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by cockfist (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

#21073034
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16765) - you deserved it (53163)

On 02/27/2014 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47015) - you deserved it (3523)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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