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crystalxuk

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crystalxuk

3Fucked!

crystalxukcrystalxuk
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 476
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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crystalxuk's page activity

Visits<b>ricardof</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 8:53pm<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 1:31am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 9:05pm<b>sullysair123</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 10:45pm<b>imyy</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 9:37am<b>jtfrisch</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 9:11am<b>Poohbear12345</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 4:48pm<b>conman317</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 2:09pm<b>rockwrench</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 9:21am<b>milehigh52</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 1:07am<b>Kels789</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 12:25am<b>medic8</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 12:22am<b>FatKitty</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 12:17am<b>alfonze07</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:31pm<b>wakemeupplease</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 6:34pm<b>Raki_92</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 5:04pm<b>CVTTRVN</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 2:15pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 6:01pm

Fucked!<b>jtfrisch</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 1:24am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 12:01am

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crystalxuk's favorite FMLs

Today, after replacing several components on my new used car, I realized that the reason it wasn't getting the gas mileage it was supposed to because my coworkers take turns siphoning my gas while I work. FML

#21435168
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22718) - you deserved it (1312)

On 07/02/2015 at 12:16am - work - by thatshelpful - United States (Iowa)

Today, I decided to break up with my boyfriend. The main reason being that he doesn't value my time, and fails to see how canceling at the last minute is rude and a major inconvenience. I wanted to be respectful enough by breaking things off face to face. He cancelled, at the last minute. FML

#21433097
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24127) - you deserved it (2049)

On 06/28/2015 at 1:06am - love - by Waste Someone Else's Time - United States

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that me and her father's wedding is just a big joke and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

#21430948
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23511) - you deserved it (2499)

On 06/24/2015 at 12:02am - love - by bummed out step monster - United States (California)

Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen so I went to work. On my walk to work a girl pulls up on my bike and says I need to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. Hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass as police surround me and accuse me of stealing my own bike. FML

#21429443
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25351) - you deserved it (1436)

On 06/21/2015 at 9:29am - misc - by cwell88 (man) -

Today, my girlfriend suggested we start using a safe word during sex - not because we're into BDSM or anything like that, it's just in case she gets bored and wants me to stop. FML

#21412386
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29228) - you deserved it (4491)

On 05/19/2015 at 2:45am - intimacy - by username - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

#21411971
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32241) - you deserved it (2969)

On 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML

#21410572
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33081) - you deserved it (2587)

On 05/15/2015 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by nazirah4shizzle (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my wife confided in a coworker that she wants to sleep with him, because our marriage is loveless and sexless. News to me. FML

#21410043
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30330) - you deserved it (2708)

On 05/14/2015 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by semokco (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30169) - you deserved it (2213)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32603) - you deserved it (7081)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

#21406764
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19772) - you deserved it (36689)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML

#21406740
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24629) - you deserved it (7101)

On 05/08/2015 at 11:44am - work - by pop, pop (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realised I've been depressed about my recent break up for longer than the relationship even lasted. FML

Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML

#21405071
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30068) - you deserved it (3305)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized I get more pleasure watching YouTube videos of people lighting their farts on fire than I do from making love to my husband. FML

#21403333
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25359) - you deserved it (6081)

On 05/02/2015 at 10:23am - intimacy - by wellfuck (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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