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crystalxuk's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
crystalxuk's favorite FMLs
by Kaibel / 05/21/2016 at 5:39pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I got into a huge fight about his ex-fiancée, after I found out he's been confessing his love to her behind my back. Our fight ended with him yelling that yes, she's the love of his life, "But I still married you, didn't I?" FML
by JustTheWife / 05/12/2016 at 1:24pm / Denmark / Love
Today, I walked into the kitchen to see my dad peeing into a cup. We made eye contact and he quickly threw the cup into the sink. Not one word has been spoken about what happened, and I saw my mom use the same cup later on that day. FML
by yamuda / 05/11/2016 at 7:24pm / Ireland (Carlow) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/06/2016 at 2:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Alex White / 05/02/2016 at 12:50pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML
by Anonymous / 03/13/2016 at 12:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by cutiecuppiecakez / 02/29/2016 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 02/25/2016 at 4:55pm / United States / Health
by sadandmad / 01/20/2016 at 11:09am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/09/2016 at 9:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML
by anne / 01/07/2016 at 7:00am / Germany / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/21/2015 at 9:56am / United States (Washington) / Love
by blackonblight / 11/11/2015 at 6:23am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned the hard way that my boyfriend lied about getting a vasectomy before we met, in spite of knowing how phobic I am of pregnancy and kids. His defense? "I figured you'd change your mind someday, because all you chicks love babies." FML
by nocongratsneeded / 11/03/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML
by Embarrassed ass. / 10/23/2015 at 12:05am / United States (Oregon) / Work
- Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I… Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken… Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember…