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crystalxuk

Offline (the 02/08/2016 at 10:39pm) | Search for a member

crystalxuk

9Fucked!

crystalxukcrystalxuk
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 860
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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crystalxuk's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 1:15am<b>KryptixSynyster1</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 12:18pm<b>A07</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 2:21am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 8:17am<b>DA_JUDGE123</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 1:03am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 6:54pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 5:02pm<b>jtfrisch</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 10:40pm<b>Greatsoulme</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 5:18pm<b>orios105</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 1:40am<b>NineeCat</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 12:28am<b>apineapple</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 7:46pm<b>cOOkiEzRgOOd</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 12:06am<b>turkeybacon</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 8:00pm<b>kittina</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 5:06pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 5:12pm<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 7:54pm<b>bkc1980</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:53am

Fucked!<b>A07</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 8:21am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 12:55am<b>orios105</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 7:40am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 5:36am<b>cOOkiEzRgOOd</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 6:06am<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:54am<b>jtfrisch</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 1:24am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 12:01am

crystalxuk's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of crystalxuk's badges

crystalxuk's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband took a pill to make him last longer in bed. He did last longer. He went from 5 minutes to 7. FML

#21517345
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18668) - you deserved it (2372)

On 01/20/2016 at 11:09am - intimacy - by sadandmad - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML

#21513340
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9000) - you deserved it (72862)

On 01/09/2016 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

#21512451
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28451) - you deserved it (3304)

On 01/07/2016 at 7:00am - intimacy - by anne (woman) - Germany

Today, I learned that my girlfriend takes creepshots of me sleeping, and my mom likes them on her Instagram. FML

#21506177
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20496) - you deserved it (2004)

On 12/21/2015 at 9:56am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally overcame depression-induced writer's block. I was typing at a good speed and before I knew it had over a thousand words that I was reasonably proud of. Then I woke up. FML

Today, I learned the hard way that my boyfriend lied about getting a vasectomy before we met, in spite of knowing how phobic I am of pregnancy and kids. His defense? "I figured you'd change your mind someday, because all you chicks love babies." FML

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML

#21483245
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25546) - you deserved it (3565)

On 10/23/2015 at 12:05am - work - by Embarrassed ass. (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was stabbed because a mugger got mad that I was broke. FML

Today, my son told me that he doesn't need to go to school because he doesn't need a job. It turns out he plans to get a life sentence in prison and live the rest of his life at the taxpayers' expense. FML

#21478471
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28317) - you deserved it (3553)

On 10/11/2015 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to my grandma. My grandpa is half-deaf, which I guess explains how he didn't hear me. I heard him though, jerking off and muttering the most disgusting sexual things about "Tara." I'm Tara. FML

#21477124
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33502) - you deserved it (1979)

On 10/07/2015 at 11:02am - intimacy - by T-Bear (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years told me he had a surprise for me at midnight. I stayed up all night, not hearing from him. Finally I get a notification. Apparently, my midnight surprise is that I'm single. FML

#21472475
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28048) - you deserved it (1785)

On 09/25/2015 at 1:31am - love - by hunting7waves - United States (Iowa)

Today, my cat still loves me too much. He schedules his dumps for when I'm doing my makeup in the bathroom so he can stay with me. I either have to suffer the noxious odor or be late for work. This is a daily thing. FML

Today, my long-term girlfriend broke up with me because my hair "falls out" and I "will definitely be bald soon", even though it's not that bad. The same girl who I supported through her chemotherapy and gave her promises that I would stay with her no matter how she looked. FML

#21472139
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35206) - you deserved it (1796)

On 09/24/2015 at 7:52am - love - by lovedoesnotexist (man) - Belgium

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my wrist. Maybe I'm paranoid, but I am pretty sure mosquito bites are not supposed to start crawling up to your armpit while swelling. FML

Today, my scumfuck brother and his friends spent my baby sister's funeral snickering and telling dead baby jokes to one another. FML

#21470076
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41214) - you deserved it (1824)

On 09/18/2015 at 11:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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