Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

crystalxa

Offline (yesterday at 11:49pm) | Search for a member

crystalxa

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Grand Rapids, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 January 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4882
  • Number of comments : 185
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About crystalxa : I love my furr babies, and Harry Potter.

crystalxa's page activity

Visits<b>Dull_lightbulb</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 10:47pm<b>Anynomusisme</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 11:34pm<b>Droffir</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 6:58am<b>awkwardtallguy</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 10:54am<b>ajean97</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 2:29pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 8:41pm<b>FlamingJazkinz</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 9:25am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 12:12pm<b>tyler_jay</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 12:35pm<b>codyflanders2008</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 10:39pm<b>gavdarv</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 1:17pm<b>vegasked</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:46pm<b>LoganBubblez</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 12:01pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 2:23am<b>arule2012</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 12:55pm<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 12:21am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 11:57pm<b>Genius_Kitty</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 2:19am

Fucked!<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 8:22am<b>rogwest</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 1:45am<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 7:22pm

crystalxa's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

See all of crystalxa's badges

crystalxa's favorite FMLs

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

#21457342
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24578) - you deserved it (8954)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29436) - you deserved it (3564)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boss called me in to have a serious talk. The "serious talk" was him asking me to notify him of my menstrual cycle ahead of time so he can "avoid that shit". FML

#21446059
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25685) - you deserved it (2643)

On 07/23/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Ma_Nikka (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML

#21427521
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36756) - you deserved it (2836)

On 06/17/2015 at 10:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

#21394468
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32499) - you deserved it (4941)

On 04/16/2015 at 1:04am - intimacy - by Evra (woman) - United States

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

#21389255
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17910) - you deserved it (44089)

On 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm - love - by NotALuckyGuy - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

#21387543
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32006) - you deserved it (2506)

On 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by fuck right off (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, an old man approached me at work. I smiled and asked, "Hi, can I help you"? He looked at me for a few seconds before replying, "Fuck me, you need to lose some weight!" and then wandering off. FML

#21379495
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28397) - you deserved it (3467)

On 03/22/2015 at 1:41pm - work - by { o } (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, one of the guys I work with ran his finger down the back of my shirt and said, "Just checking to see if you're wearing a bra today". FML

Today, I got a haircut. The guy quickly cut off most of the hair above my forehead. When I angrily asked him what he was doing, he said, "Quitting." FML

#21369589
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36040) - you deserved it (2323)

On 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to sit and smile as a drunk lady ranted about how body hair on a woman is disgusting and unfeminine, then in the next breath say that only pedos like women who shave their vaginas. That's the last time I ever have dinner with my boyfriend's parents. FML

#21369265
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29192) - you deserved it (2127)

On 03/06/2015 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought How To Train Your Dragon and the cashier started complaining how her kids keep demanding dragon stuff and that mine will start after they see the movie. I don't have any kids, and I didn't have the courage to tell her I was buying it for myself. FML

#21362244
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27931) - you deserved it (5031)

On 02/23/2015 at 11:58pm - misc - by MDoremis - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML

#21344108
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31632) - you deserved it (9708)

On 01/25/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by Orgasmataz (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: