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crvaldez97

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crvaldez97
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  • Number of visits : 34
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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crvaldez97's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that the only female who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML

#21113897
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27169) - you deserved it (2584)

On 04/15/2014 at 5:55pm - love - by gerontofuck (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

#21113787
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30755) - you deserved it (3783)

On 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by fuckyouharddad - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

#21113687
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32342) - you deserved it (4331)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36452) - you deserved it (4189)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML

#21112602
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34892) - you deserved it (4228)

On 04/14/2014 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML

#21112565
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32853) - you deserved it (3914)

On 04/14/2014 at 2:29am - intimacy - by teddyissmall (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend. As we walked back home from the cinema, he was checking his phone, when suddenly someone grabbed it and ran off. I had to be the one to go run after the thug because my 23-year-old boyfriend froze on the spot, crying. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

#21111270
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37587) - you deserved it (5573)

On 04/12/2014 at 5:01pm - animals - by princess (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my sister is working on her graduation speech. She gives her thanks to one friend for helping support her through school, like, "The sister I never had". FML

#21110843
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32452) - you deserved it (3532)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:22am - misc - by onlychild (woman) - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

#21110801
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36383) - you deserved it (5038)

On 04/12/2014 at 1:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML

#21110643
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37765) - you deserved it (2557)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, after months of being on anti-depression medication and feeling very little emotionally, I finally felt some joy. Sadly it was from completely crushing my husband in an argument he started, where he claimed ketchup is a vegetable. FML

#21107568
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33141) - you deserved it (3833)

On 04/08/2014 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Veneto)

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39427) - you deserved it (5665)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, I was given a call home, a 3-day-suspension, and a week of detention in school for a "serious violation of the code of conduct." Said violation? Jogging in the middle of the hall. FML

#21107042
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34444) - you deserved it (3670)

On 04/07/2014 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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