Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

crushcrusher

Online | Search for a member

crushcrusher

60Fucked!

crushcrushercrushcrusher
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 April 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3776
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About crushcrusher : My favorite TV character once said, "the truth is, it's not love on which the strongest foundations are built, it's the decency of merciful lies." I kinda agree with him on that one or maybe it's just that bitterness is my middle name. I've been living long enough in my reveries: dating fictional characters, bands and medieval princes that sometimes I'd rather stay in my make-believe world. It's not healthy yeah but... Idk. Anyway, I'm nice so... *shrugs* ;) kik: nightmare18049 twitter/instagram: factiontraitor smule: initiatetransfer

crushcrusher's page activity

Visits<b>inkjet</b> - 2 hours ago<b>ForGodAndMusic</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 5:11pm<b>hammerhead2015</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 1:18pm<b>PiscesNation</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 1:09am<b>moron011</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 12:13am<b>StickyPickles</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 8:42am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 11:52pm<b>CyberSeeker</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 7:59pm<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:36pm<b>bigjake</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 7:56am<b>Tamiaxoxo00</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 2:36am<b>Gaernem</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 11:34am<b>rocksmith</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 10:28pm<b>bps315</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 9:43pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 2:42am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 4:17pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 12:35am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 6:34am

Fucked!<b>ForGodAndMusic</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 11:12pm<b>StickyPickles</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 2:42pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 5:53am<b>moron011</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:19am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 8:36pm<b>ASeeR</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:53am<b>seeoseek</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 10:01pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 9:12pm<b>seemo82</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 5:26pm<b>j_seid</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 7:59am<b>chode124</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:20am<b>Mario_mane</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 7:34pm<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 3:04am<b>danzam98</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 7:52pm<b>CyberSeeker</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 3:39pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 2:38pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 2:01pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 10:44pm

crushcrusher's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of crushcrusher's badges

crushcrusher's favorite FMLs

Today, I haven't shaved for so long the hair on my legs has split ends. FML

#21458206
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18389) - you deserved it (9738)

On 08/19/2015 at 9:00pm - misc - by ToddesPizza - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML

#21455715
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24216) - you deserved it (2431)

On 08/13/2015 at 7:50pm - kids - by stressedmom36 - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. It got hot and intense and we were really into it, until she blurted out, "Oh baby, rub your penis against mine". FML

Today, I went to a frozen yogurt stand with my dad. One of the flavors was called "Juicy Cherry." I had to stand there and watch in horror as he told the woman running the stand all about how he'd like to taste her juicy cherry. FML

#21450062
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25022) - you deserved it (1804)

On 07/31/2015 at 2:28pm - misc - by ppema (man) - United States

Today, I wanted to buy a pack of cigarettes. My wife, who didn't want me to get them, decided it would be a good idea to jump on the hood of the car while I was driving off. She hit the car and fell off. My neighbor saw this. Neither her nor the cops believe me when I say I didn't hit her. FML

#21449719
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23536) - you deserved it (4098)

On 07/30/2015 at 10:06pm - misc - by Just wanted a cigarette (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the store with my father. As we were leaving, he grabbed a baguette, put it by his crotch, and took a picture with his phone. I'm starting to feel like the parent here. FML

#21449663
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21308) - you deserved it (1711)

On 07/30/2015 at 7:24pm - misc - by EmbarrassedChild - United States

Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML

#21446581
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27056) - you deserved it (2756)

On 07/24/2015 at 2:54pm - misc - by HAIL SITHIS (woman) - United States

Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform this one. I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML

#21443788
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24217) - you deserved it (2686)

On 07/18/2015 at 11:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I sent my long-distance boyfriend a heartfelt message about how much I missed him. He sent me back a picture of a Minion. FML

#21442865
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25337) - you deserved it (3216)

On 07/17/2015 at 3:04am - love - by anon - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML

#21441357
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24078) - you deserved it (19818)

On 07/14/2015 at 1:03am - intimacy - by EternalBlossom (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up early and took my medication to help me focus while catching up on lectures. I ended up spending the whole day focused on fixing my drawer for no apparent reason. FML

#21440955
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23001) - you deserved it (3598)

On 07/13/2015 at 9:56am - misc - by distracted - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I stayed over at my boyfriend's house for the first time. He soon found out about my sleep-talking habit. I started ranting about "electron shaming" and I apparently passionately support their "sub-atomic lifestyle". Yes, he managed to get it on video. FML

#21439547
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26027) - you deserved it (3008)

On 07/10/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by wantmeasandwich (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was finally going to break down my social barrier by going out on a date with a nice guy I recently met on a dating site. Just at the start of the date, he asked me how old I was, and out of pure nervousness, I blurted out, "12!" I'm 24. FML

#21437546
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22590) - you deserved it (5425)

On 07/06/2015 at 7:02pm - love - by 12yearsoldapparently (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

#21435026
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22796) - you deserved it (1376)

On 07/01/2015 at 7:38pm - misc - by bleachingmykidsbrains - Canada (Quebec)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: