crush451

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Offline (the 05/02/2016 at 1:11am)

crush451

1Fucked!

crush451
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1520
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About crush451 : ☺️

crush451's page activity

Visits<b>MattBenid</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 9:06am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 10:22pm<b>KyngJulian</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 1:03am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 6:03am<b>flupsht</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 7:42pm<b>thenick_m</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 1:38pm<b>buddysboy9</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 2:40pm<b>olpally</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 7:41pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 9:36am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 7:28pm<b>Dann_93</b> - the 12/25/2010 at 3:28pm<b>jetpackzach</b> - the 08/08/2010 at 6:54pm<b>buzz18</b> - the 07/29/2010 at 11:40pm<b>fiery_ginger</b> - the 07/29/2010 at 7:32pm<b>281go</b> - the 07/29/2010 at 3:43pm<b>fuck_this_shit_5</b> - the 07/27/2010 at 9:11am<b>That_Guy_Jake_JR</b> - the 07/27/2010 at 1:14am<b>JustTh4tGuy</b> - the 07/26/2010 at 10:40pm

Fucked!<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 11:05pm

crush451's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of crush451's badges

crush451's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

by LadyLola / 11/25/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, while riding the subway, I fell asleep. I awoke to find that someone had stolen my glasses. From off my face. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2013 at 6:19pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

by clodius / 11/20/2013 at 1:25pm / United Kingdom (North Lanarkshire) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, my dog got out of the house. I was running after him and remembered the old "pretend you're hurt" trick. I got on the ground, and cried out as if I was hurt. My dog just kept running. FML

by WalnutGaming / 10/22/2013 at 3:20pm / United States (Maryland) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals

Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML

by talker / 11/14/2012 at 1:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

by jenni6488 / 02/22/2012 at 2:56am / United Kingdom (Gateshead) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife is totally convinced that she was abducted by aliens last night, all because she fell out of bed. FML

by ET / 12/08/2011 at 11:15pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm / United States / Love

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

by immy504 / 11/30/2011 at 12:39am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

by Margo / 11/15/2011 at 10:16am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML

by socal000 / 10/20/2011 at 8:04am / United States / Health