critzm

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Offline (the 05/22/2016 at 5:25am)

critzm

3Fucked!

critzmcritzm
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 881
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About critzm : Orlando, FL. Message me

critzm's page activity

Visits<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 2:17pm<b>royr7395</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 4:48am<b>delilablue95</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 12:07pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 7:48am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 6:19pm<b>blahblah005</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 11:04pm<b>onyxkrowe</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 2:01pm<b>hannahlinnea</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 4:55pm<b>alisha0215</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 3:43pm<b>skye147</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 2:00am<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:54pm<b>sappy23</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 3:33am<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:35am<b>atl904</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 11:32pm<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:33pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:38pm<b>vlalam</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 12:35pm<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:41am

Fucked!<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 2:48am<b>blahblah005</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 5:04am

critzm's FML badges

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of critzm's badges

critzm's favorite FMLs

Today, on the bus, my blood sugar level got too low and I passed out. When I came to, the woman next to me was hitting me, saying she needed to get off and that she didn't have time for my "stupid fucking prank". FML

by qhorin halflung / 07/22/2015 at 1:35pm / Transportation

Today, I decided to break up with my boyfriend. The main reason being that he doesn't value my time, and fails to see how canceling at the last minute is rude and a major inconvenience. I wanted to be respectful enough by breaking things off face to face. He cancelled, at the last minute. FML

by Waste Someone Else's Time / 06/28/2015 at 1:06am / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

by stillhungry / 06/27/2015 at 2:37pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my hateful mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly. I faked taking a phone call so the bitter old hag would leave me alone. She then pulled out her phone, called my number, and glared at me as my phone rang against my ear. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2015 at 12:47am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

by carebear1228 / 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I learned that just because you live on a different continent, it doesn't mean your mother won't come knocking when you are having sex. FML

by hi Mum / 12/11/2013 at 2:59pm / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

by eastsiderounder / 12/02/2013 at 12:11pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

by -___- / 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

by littledipper / 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding, because she found out I had sex with another woman. Three years before we even met. FML

by Crazy Crazy Crazy / 09/12/2013 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML

by Carrie / 05/08/2013 at 1:41am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm / Ireland (Donegal) / Love

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

by future brain bleach addict / 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy