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critzm

Offline (the 08/14/2015 at 8:53pm) | Search for a member

critzm

2Fucked!

critzmcritzm
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 564
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About critzm : Orlando, FL. Message me

critzm's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 7:48am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 6:19pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 7:04am<b>blahblah005</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 11:04pm<b>onyxkrowe</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 2:01pm<b>hannahlinnea</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 4:55pm<b>alisha0215</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 3:43pm<b>skye147</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 2:00am<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:54pm<b>sappy23</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 3:33am<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:35am<b>atl904</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 11:32pm<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:33pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:38pm<b>vlalam</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 12:35pm<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:41am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 8:33pm<b>nandybear</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 11:13pm

Fucked!<b>blahblah005</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 5:04am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 2:34am

critzm's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of critzm's badges

critzm's favorite FMLs

Today, on the bus, my blood sugar level got too low and I passed out. When I came to, the woman next to me was hitting me, saying she needed to get off and that she didn't have time for my "stupid fucking prank". FML

#21445474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28242) - you deserved it (1835)

On 07/22/2015 at 1:35pm - health - by qhorin halflung (woman) -

Today, I decided to break up with my boyfriend. The main reason being that he doesn't value my time, and fails to see how canceling at the last minute is rude and a major inconvenience. I wanted to be respectful enough by breaking things off face to face. He cancelled, at the last minute. FML

#21433097
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25384) - you deserved it (2083)

On 06/28/2015 at 1:06am - love - by Waste Someone Else's Time - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

#21432853
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25998) - you deserved it (3364)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by stillhungry - United States (California)

Today, my hateful mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly. I faked taking a phone call so the bitter old hag would leave me alone. She then pulled out her phone, called my number, and glared at me as my phone rang against my ear. FML

#21418362
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25772) - you deserved it (11551)

On 05/31/2015 at 12:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53160) - you deserved it (4548)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that just because you live on a different continent, it doesn't mean your mother won't come knocking when you are having sex. FML

#20989004
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57220) - you deserved it (4969)

On 12/11/2013 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by hi Mum - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
204 comments

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64800) - you deserved it (26726)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

#20895155
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46214) - you deserved it (4372)

On 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm - work - by littledipper - United States (New York)

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding, because she found out I had sex with another woman. Three years before we even met. FML

#20878703
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66702) - you deserved it (7207)

On 09/12/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by Crazy Crazy Crazy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML

#20649270
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76850) - you deserved it (6879)

On 05/08/2013 at 1:41am - health - by Carrie - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

#20645479
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92877) - you deserved it (5841)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65012) - you deserved it (5975)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

#20637584
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73693) - you deserved it (8222)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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