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Offline (the 10/26/2016 at 2:30am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 16988
  • Number of comments : 426
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About cristy91 : 24 years old with two doggies and a scorp. I'm about to begin pursuing my PhD in analytical chemistry with the intent of ultimately working for either the restoration of the Everglades or as a professor at a university.

*Please do not send me neither flirtatious nor sexual comments*

cristy91's page activity

Visits<b>Bobhenderson91</b> - 10 hours ago<b>AudiLover21</b> - the 10/21/2016 at 7:35pm<b>Warnorse</b> - the 10/21/2016 at 6:04pm<b>xfireds</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 3:02pm<b>dont4get2wipe</b> - the 10/06/2016 at 11:13pm<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 3:51pm<b>SCNash</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 12:23pm<b>curseddragoon13</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 9:41pm<b>nickbuckley</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 5:17pm<b>dzinex7</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 6:08pm<b>EoinDonnelly</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 4:17am<b>angiesluvstacooo</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 10:36pm<b>Supersonic54</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 12:08pm<b>ikeb</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 10:29pm<b>jk_waks23</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 1:28am<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 4:26am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 5:58am<b>slappygecko</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 11:51am

Fucked!<b>dzinex7</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 12:08am<b>miss_fluffybutt</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 9:44pm<b>HairyPunisher</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 6:32am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 11:55pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 9:25pm<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 1:00am<b>tiger820</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 12:00pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 7:10pm<b>arabian22</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 8:43am<b>fastman19</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 12:53pm<b>Hans182</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 6:22am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 11:22pm<b>Epickitty58</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 6:09pm<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 8:01pm<b>jjeffriesftw</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 11:34pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 3:49pm<b>ariasmake1</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 8:32am<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 7:44am

cristy91's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of cristy91's badges

cristy91's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to use the bathroom really badly in a drug store. After I did a #2, just as I realized the handle on the toilet was broken, a knock came at the door. I tried fixing it for ten minutes, before slipping out the door, to come face to face with two employees coming to fix the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2015 at 10:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made two cakes. One for my boyfriend's birthday tomorrow, the other for my family so they wouldn't eat the birthday cake. I came home to find they ate half of each. FML

by cristy91 / 07/10/2013 at 12:01am / United States (Florida) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

by Banana / 12/04/2012 at 11:04am / Puerto Rico / Transportation

Today, I had a seizure. My dad responded by saying it always happens with my disease. I never have had a disease. Now I have to wait for my dad to stop yelling at my mom about not telling me, so I can ask what I have in the first place. FML

by aldfgadfklbg / 03/13/2011 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the doctor for an infection from where a cat bit me while I was sleeping. Where that cat came from and how it got into my bedroom I will never know. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2011 at 9:19am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals

Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

by Nerrh / 03/12/2011 at 5:53am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, it was the début of the high school musical I was in. When two others and I sang the word "Hell", my mother yelled at us for using that language, while the musical was still going, and dragged me off stage. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2011 at 12:14am / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML

by mike / 03/11/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I woke up screaming after a nightmare about clowns, which wouldn't be too bad if I hadn't been surrounded by coworkers. FML

by scaredofbozo / 03/11/2011 at 11:05am / Work

Today, I caught my finger in a sliding door. It made me pass out and give myself a concussion. My genetics would rather slam my face into the floor than deal with a pinched finger. FML

by Pain_intolerant / 03/11/2011 at 9:11am / Canada / Health

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

by takinabreak / 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2009 at 3:17am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

by LadyChristina25 / 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous