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crimsonlilies

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crimsonlilies

8Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 October 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1046
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About crimsonlilies : I'm a writer and a reader. An artist and a fighter.

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

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crimsonlilies's favorite FMLs

Today, I overhered my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells lyk deli meat." FML

#20127779
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24897) - you deserved it (3465)

On 10/22/2012 at 1:29am - love - by sausagefingers (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today... I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

#20060710
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21941) - you deserved it (9013)

On 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm - love - by WaxOnWaxOff - United States (Colorado)

yesterday I faked back pain to get out of sex with mah wife. FML

#19519043
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11271) - you deserved it (31962)

On 04/23/2012 at 9:48pm - intimacy - by hjkashld (man) - United States

Today, I pourd my eart out to my girlfriend of two yeres expressing my feelings for er. Se respondd wit, ( I'm going to bd. ) big fat FML

#19464902
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24695) - you deserved it (2808)

On 04/14/2012 at 2:27am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was Skyping with this kid, when his girlfriend startd arguing with him. They do this every other week, and there was a bet on when they'd finally break up. I eggd the guy on and told him not to take her shit. She endd up dumping him. Now I feel like an asshole, and all 4 a lousy $20. FML

#19462758
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5825) - you deserved it (41914)

On 04/13/2012 at 7:14pm - love - by c*nt (man) - Canada (Ontario)

2day as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting!! Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts!! FML

#19341181
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19316) - you deserved it (2342)

On 03/24/2012 at 9:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I signed the divorce papers mah wife gave me. When I went to bed, she was on the phone talking to her new boyfriend. big fat FML

#19131247
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33945) - you deserved it (2650)

On 02/21/2012 at 1:45pm - love - by GeeTwo - United States

yesterday I found out that my boyfriend's "therapy" meetings have been with my best friend... in his truck. FML

#18286788
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41242) - you deserved it (3620)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:20am - intimacy - by Aleial - United States

Today, hile taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on mah head, laughed hysterically, and ran off looool screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28133) - you deserved it (11510)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank thehole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" fir his wife !! He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally fir his "whiskey dick" !! FML

#17415009
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32192) - you deserved it (2775)

On 08/09/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by OyGeeze28 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank thehole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" fir his wife !! He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally fir his "whiskey dick" !! FML

#17415009
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32192) - you deserved it (2775)

On 08/09/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by OyGeeze28 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch neighbour have a screaming match in the middle of our street about which one of there brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML

#17266152
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20677) - you deserved it (2646)

On 07/26/2011 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to recieve the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, an going to sleep!! Try again tomorrow." FML

#16667115
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36848) - you deserved it (14282)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, Ma Fiva Yaar Old Daugtar Askad Ma Wat A Divorca Was . Wan I Askad Wy Sa Wantad To Know, Sa Rapliad Wit "Daddy Wants Ona . Ha Says U Can Ava Ma." Raal FML

#16508942
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64625) - you deserved it (3805)

On 06/05/2011 at 1:17am - love - by dumped - United States (Utah)



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