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cricketsins

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cricketsins

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cricketsinscricketsins
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3106
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

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cricketsins's favorite FMLs

Today, I was grounded by my mom because I had slept in past 11, when she wanted me to wake up at seven to do chores. According to her logic, I should have seen the note she left on the counter earlier this morning. FML

#19545380
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27145) - you deserved it (2682)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:55pm - misc - by thyisnothorses - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

#19525973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24013) - you deserved it (2700)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML

#19477249
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49321) - you deserved it (5387)

On 04/16/2012 at 4:12am - intimacy - by oface13 (man) - United States

Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML

#19424336
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6947) - you deserved it (47125)

On 04/07/2012 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's fascination with them. I did some research and wound up reading H.P. Lovecraft. On the upside, I can now pee more easily. On the downside, it's likely to be in my pants. FML

#19340135
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16578) - you deserved it (3986)

On 03/24/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was discussing the possibility of other life in the universe with my friend. She said the universe isn't big enough for it to be possible, and that we would know about it already, because "there are only 8 planets in the universe." FML

Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML

#19253868
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10097) - you deserved it (148149)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm - misc - by Major3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15139) - you deserved it (51674)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30209) - you deserved it (9470)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

#18976293
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17341) - you deserved it (21911)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - India

Today, I came home to a furious wife and an answering machine message from a woman neither of us know claiming I got her pregnant. My wife won't believe she got the wrong number. FML

#18932189
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35146) - you deserved it (2733)

On 01/28/2012 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Innocent (man) -

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33458) - you deserved it (3579)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML

#18808709
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20512) - you deserved it (3619)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:24pm - misc - by 2gewd4u - United States (Texas)

Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML

#18738481
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27021) - you deserved it (14018)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm - misc - by Jman6295 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20828) - you deserved it (40532)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia



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