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Offline (the 08/05/2016 at 10:06pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7820
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 7 posted

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cricketsins's page activity

Visits<b>Dreamer_in_Time</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 12:26am<b>billboob</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 11:00pm<b>ShooShoo013</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 6:33am<b>anormalperson</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 9:37am<b>Tacogamer20</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 7:20am<b>justiceiscoming</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 10:36pm<b>mr_dour</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 5:12am<b>kawayi</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 5:36pm<b>ibot68</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 4:47pm<b>cloudydays</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 2:24pm<b>zinoxity</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 1:45pm<b>Starfall101</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 10:08am<b>Sinlessgore</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 3:33am<b>floatythefish</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 11:20pm<b>BurnInDemonFire</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 9:48pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 9:35pm<b>atomicfragility</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 7:30pm<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 2:28pm

Fucked!<b>Dreamer_in_Time</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 6:26am<b>eski2015</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 4:36am<b>Host2phats</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 5:18pm<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 3:33pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 3:22pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 2:58pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 2:32pm<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 11:27am<b>Myorafield</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 3:02am<b>HairyPunisher</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 9:18pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 7:23pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 3:33am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 1:37pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:55am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 5:09am

cricketsins's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of cricketsins's badges

cricketsins's favorite FMLs

Today, after 2 weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2013 at 9:41am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

by andy / 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

by great / 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 7:48am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

by airbiscuit / 01/21/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

by kk / 01/09/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyed, I turned around and ranted about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explained that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. FML

by Mimi / 11/29/2012 at 12:29am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

by Teddy / 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML

by but I tried anal and everything / 11/22/2012 at 11:13am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I told my boss I could handle running the floor buffer. Thirty seconds in, I lost control and became pinned to the wall by its force. In my state of shock and embarrassment, I didn't realize the only thing keeping me trapped was my grip on the accelerator. FML

by rubberduck1 / 11/16/2012 at 12:04am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML

by Z / 11/13/2012 at 7:43pm / Australia / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

by radioinvader / 10/28/2012 at 8:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Work