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cricketsins

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cricketsins

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cricketsinscricketsins
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2868
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

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cricketsins's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

#20083631
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22422) - you deserved it (9109)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML

#20079245
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19213) - you deserved it (3164)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:25pm - love - by MT (woman) - Finland

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML

#20075207
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28680) - you deserved it (3786)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:50pm - love - by painfetish8021 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

#20054615
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27872) - you deserved it (4630)

On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

#20051213
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27268) - you deserved it (15949)

On 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by jon (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML

#20049241
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32938) - you deserved it (1691)

On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)

Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML

#20048187
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29558) - you deserved it (7001)

On 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the air bag system in my car somehow malfunctioned, and the air bag inflated while I was driving, causing me to lose control and crash into a street light. I ended up with a badly bruised face because the air bag had already deflated by then. FML

#20018268
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24619) - you deserved it (1466)

On 08/13/2012 at 4:06am - health - by stupid_airbag (man) - Australia

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

#20016279
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46917) - you deserved it (3068)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by happybirthday - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

#19993820
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26634) - you deserved it (4374)

On 07/31/2012 at 1:36am - kids - by mcase - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

#19986172
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24817) - you deserved it (3567)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by LOTRfail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

#19914147
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20904) - you deserved it (10992)

On 07/09/2012 at 11:09am - love - by randomguy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML

#19724676
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5691) - you deserved it (44332)

On 06/03/2012 at 1:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

#19611170
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20540) - you deserved it (4090)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:36am - work - by picklet (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)

Today, I was grounded by my mom because I had slept in past 11, when she wanted me to wake up at seven to do chores. According to her logic, I should have seen the note she left on the counter earlier this morning. FML

#19545380
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27165) - you deserved it (2681)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:55pm - misc - by thyisnothorses - United States (Massachusetts)



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