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cricketsins

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cricketsins
  • Town/Country : United states
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 550
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

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cricketsins's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to a furious wife and an answering machine message from a woman neither of us know claiming I got her pregnant. My wife won't believe she got the wrong number. FML

#18932189
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31972) - you deserved it (2491)

On 01/28/2012 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Innocent (man) -

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30844) - you deserved it (3351)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML

#18808709
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18251) - you deserved it (3350)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:24pm - misc - by 2gewd4u - United States (Texas)

Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML

#18738481
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24042) - you deserved it (13187)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm - misc - by Jman6295 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19013) - you deserved it (37896)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I was on Skype with the guy I like. After a while of being on Facebook I forgot I was on webcam to him and started picking my nose. He ended the call. FML

#18716457
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11933) - you deserved it (45320)

On 01/05/2012 at 2:35pm - love - by louise (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML

#18525821
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33421) - you deserved it (5996)

On 12/16/2011 at 3:50am - misc - by Brit - Reserved

Today, I was giving a presentation at work, when I said, "But we could care less about that." My boss asked if I meant, "Couldn't care less." Wanting to avoid embarrassment, I tried to think up an excuse, only to end up blurting that it was my phone's auto-correct. FML

#18512301
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6058) - you deserved it (27579)

On 12/14/2011 at 4:21pm - work - by sharon (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML

#18414681
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18226) - you deserved it (3092)

On 12/02/2011 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by Jess49 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10932) - you deserved it (54098)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31047) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML

#18100684
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20518) - you deserved it (3964)

On 10/29/2011 at 12:51am - animals - by Fought The Law - United States (Georgia)

Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML

#18029483
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24385) - you deserved it (16786)

On 10/20/2011 at 4:26am - love - by Awie (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18838) - you deserved it (42233)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, I got pulled over for distracted driving. Not for cell phone use but for nose picking and inspecting. FML

#17762690
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8696) - you deserved it (32603)

On 09/17/2011 at 4:37am - misc - by jj4320 - United States (California)



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