Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cricketsins

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

cricketsins

2Fucked!

cricketsinscricketsins
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3514
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

cricketsins's page activity

Visits<b>captianwolf</b> - yesterday at 2:14am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 12:55am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 11:09pm<b>Raptor73242</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 10:41am<b>thrasher590</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:59am<b>CreatingReality</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 5:33pm<b>ajean97</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 9:15am<b>rocketgurl</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:15pm<b>evilxspwn</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:21am<b>Allnightampm</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 8:55pm<b>swanheart</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 3:27am<b>oliviaromero_</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 10:42pm<b>kerstileann</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 4:11am<b>OnlyAvailableID</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 3:20am<b>LordGoober</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 2:40pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 1:37pm<b>Gr33bSt3ph</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 9:23pm<b>jshakd642</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 5:04pm

Fucked!<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:55am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 5:09am

cricketsins's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of cricketsins's badges

cricketsins's favorite FMLs

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38604) - you deserved it (2535)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35156) - you deserved it (5952)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

#20470936
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48139) - you deserved it (4082)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48897) - you deserved it (5877)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50468) - you deserved it (4846)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15219) - you deserved it (35151)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyed, I turned around and ranted about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explained that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. FML

#20183504
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8511) - you deserved it (84753)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:29am - misc - by Mimi - United States

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

#20179890
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31099) - you deserved it (3547)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML

#20173702
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28035) - you deserved it (5901)

On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I told my boss I could handle running the floor buffer. Thirty seconds in, I lost control and became pinned to the wall by its force. In my state of shock and embarrassment, I didn't realize the only thing keeping me trapped was my grip on the accelerator. FML

#20164988
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6503) - you deserved it (19568)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:04am - work - by rubberduck1 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20452) - you deserved it (3204)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22835) - you deserved it (3077)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, I was talking to my future mother-in-law about my upcoming wedding. She told me that I wasn't allowed to have the wedding at a church, nor wear a white dress, nor have roses for flowers, because that would mean I'd be "copying" her. FML

#20115456
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27064) - you deserved it (1476)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, as an introduction to the history of China, I asked my APA World History class to write a 500 word essay on a historical Chinese person. Out of a class of 18, five of them were about Mulan. FML

#20102571
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21296) - you deserved it (4588)

On 10/05/2012 at 5:47am - work - by desperate (woman) - Malta



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: