Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cricketsins

Online | Search for a member

cricketsins

2Fucked!

cricketsinscricketsins
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3497
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

cricketsins's page activity

Visits<b>captianwolf</b> - 22 hours ago<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 12:55am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 11:09pm<b>Raptor73242</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 10:41am<b>thrasher590</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:59am<b>CreatingReality</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 5:33pm<b>ajean97</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 9:15am<b>rocketgurl</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:15pm<b>evilxspwn</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:21am<b>Allnightampm</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 8:55pm<b>swanheart</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 3:27am<b>oliviaromero_</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 10:42pm<b>kerstileann</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 4:11am<b>OnlyAvailableID</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 3:20am<b>LordGoober</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 2:40pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 1:37pm<b>Gr33bSt3ph</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 9:23pm<b>jshakd642</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 5:04pm

Fucked!<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:55am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 5:09am

cricketsins's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of cricketsins's badges

cricketsins's favorite FMLs

Today, my house was egged while I went out shopping. When I told my dad about it, he immediately and casually admitted to being the one who did it, asking, "You got a fucking problem with that, son?" I don't know if he's just messing with my head, or if he really did do it. FML

#20756478
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40837) - you deserved it (3339)

On 06/30/2013 at 6:08pm - misc - by thefuck (man) - Ireland (Cavan)

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

#20739861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25900) - you deserved it (65100) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/21/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by breeeeeh (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58548) - you deserved it (4186)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

#20728225
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47918) - you deserved it (3817) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by Sovekipisse (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML

#20714140
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41224) - you deserved it (8084)

On 06/08/2013 at 7:43pm - misc - by purged (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

#20618445
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77653) - you deserved it (9356)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

#20585943
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62099) - you deserved it (5438)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

Today, my friends and I were exchanging stories with one another. I barely got a few sentences in before they started mocking and viciously insulting me for saying "swaggered", claiming it comes from the slang term "swag", and that they never thought I was a "dumbass hipster". Really now? FML

#20582400
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33113) - you deserved it (6845)

On 04/09/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by nice education you've got there (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was cast as beast in my high school's production of Beauty and the Beast. My Grandma's input? "At least they won't need any makeup." FML

#20566521
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34322) - you deserved it (3527)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Beast - United States (Ohio)

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

#20555528
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42589) - you deserved it (6260)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42034) - you deserved it (15733)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49666) - you deserved it (24530)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the guy in the dorm room next to me was playing very loud metal music. I went next door and kindly asked him to turn it off. He did, so I went back to my room to go back to sleep. It turns out he was using the music to drown out his girlfriend's very loud moans. FML

#20536784
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38671) - you deserved it (15765)

On 03/09/2013 at 8:35am - intimacy - by ShittyWalls (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to my grandma while at my house. She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening to press charges. I still don't know whose side to take. FML

#20518703
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32291) - you deserved it (4048)

On 02/23/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after 2 weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

#20490079
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39913) - you deserved it (9224)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: