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cricketsins's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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cricketsins's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm / Egypt / Intimacy
Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML
by mtr1594 / 07/31/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Nevada) / Love
by RayneWolf13 / 07/31/2013 at 2:31am / United States (Arkansas) / Love
Today, I had a customer scream at me for ruining their child's birthday party. They had bought a Piñata from me and didn't know they had to fill it themselves. The kids had hit it open and it was empty. FML
by Fitz / 07/29/2013 at 2:30am / United States / Work
by anonymous / 07/24/2013 at 9:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by lame-o-prof / 07/15/2013 at 5:14pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML
by speechless / 07/13/2013 at 10:32am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by a man / 07/13/2013 at 9:20am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML
by thanks, Nemo. / 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by fucked up dad / 07/11/2013 at 3:50pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy
Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 10:24am / United States / Intimacy
Today, a coworker complimented me on losing weight, and said that she wished she could drop a few pounds too. I was too embarrassed to tell her that the only reason I've lost weight is because I haven't been able to afford to eat. FML
by shouldbehappyiguess / 07/11/2013 at 2:20am / United States (Florida) / Work
by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, due to a spate of burglaries, I updated the security on my house. Latches, locks, gates, I…