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cricketsins

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cricketsins

4Fucked!

cricketsinscricketsins
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4313
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 7 posted

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cricketsins's page activity

Visits<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 3:21pm<b>TacoloverSWE</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 12:04pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 10:29am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 4:44am<b>XmasaX</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 8:17am<b>Life_is_FML</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 9:41am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 9:33pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 7:37am<b>cdncw</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 5:33pm<b>captianwolf</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 2:14am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 12:55am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 11:09pm<b>Raptor73242</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 10:41am<b>thrasher590</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:59am<b>CreatingReality</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 5:33pm<b>ajean97</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 9:15am<b>rocketgurl</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:15pm<b>evilxspwn</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:21am

Fucked!<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 3:33am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 1:37pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:55am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 5:09am

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cricketsins's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was teaching my chickens to eat out of my hand, one of the hens bit my finger and I dropped the entire handful of treats. Result: bonanza for the bird. The rest decided they could get more treats by biting me rather than by behaving. I now have a flock of fingerbiters. FML

Today, at the yacht club I work at a girl ordered a Portabella wrap. She asked for no cheese or veggies, just the Portabellas. After she got the sandwich and ate half of it, she sent it back saying she didn't know it had mushrooms in it. FML

#20840141
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46018) - you deserved it (3145)

On 08/16/2013 at 10:05am - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML

#20837266
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43346) - you deserved it (2674)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:47pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66524) - you deserved it (8448)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57416) - you deserved it (6500)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51440) - you deserved it (18300)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44640) - you deserved it (5182)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, I had to put my little sister to bed. Usually my mom sings her a lullaby before she puts her to sleep, so I did too. After I finished the song, my sister looked me dead in the eyes and said, "This is why I tell people we aren't related." FML

#20826525
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48162) - you deserved it (5351)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:09am - kids - by NextAmericanIdol? - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mum picked up a bunch of tissues that were scattered around my room. She examined them, then asked me to stop wasting her potential grandchildren. FML

#20825949
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49770) - you deserved it (40632)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

Today, my husband bought me a big box of tampons. He claims to know when my period is about to start before I do. Sadly, he's right. FML

#20812881
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49892) - you deserved it (8337)

On 07/31/2013 at 2:31am - love - by RayneWolf13 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had a customer scream at me for ruining their child's birthday party. They had bought a Piñata from me and didn't know they had to fill it themselves. The kids had hit it open and it was empty. FML

#20809207
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51727) - you deserved it (4196)

On 07/29/2013 at 2:30am - work - by Fitz - United States

Today, I was going so slow in traffic that my GPS asked me if I wanted to switch to pedestrian mode. FML

#20801861
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42498) - you deserved it (7618)

On 07/24/2013 at 9:31pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63387) - you deserved it (22373)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was marking exams. I then had to explain to many of the students that (a) pigs are not aquatic animals and (b) sharks do not have lungs. These are university students. FML

#20784658
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42745) - you deserved it (3708)

On 07/15/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by lame-o-prof (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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