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cricketsins

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cricketsins
  • Town/Country : United states
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 560
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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cricketsins's favorite FMLs

Today, at the yacht club I work at a girl ordered a Portabella wrap. She asked for no cheese or veggies, just the Portabellas. After she got the sandwich and ate half of it, she sent it back saying she didn't know it had mushrooms in it. FML

#20840141
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41283) - you deserved it (2772)

On 08/16/2013 at 10:05am - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML

#20837266
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39454) - you deserved it (2381)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:47pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57029) - you deserved it (6360)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50701) - you deserved it (5704)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45705) - you deserved it (16289)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40213) - you deserved it (4657)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, I had to put my little sister to bed. Usually my mom sings her a lullaby before she puts her to sleep, so I did too. After I finished the song, my sister looked me dead in the eyes and said, "This is why I tell people we aren't related." FML

#20826525
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43985) - you deserved it (4893)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:09am - kids - by NextAmericanIdol? - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mum picked up a bunch of tissues that were scattered around my room. She examined them, then asked me to stop wasting her potential grandchildren. FML

#20825949
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47158) - you deserved it (38760)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

Today, my husband bought me a big box of tampons. He claims to know when my period is about to start before I do. Sadly, he's right. FML

#20812881
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43184) - you deserved it (6982)

On 07/31/2013 at 2:31am - love - by RayneWolf13 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had a customer scream at me for ruining their child's birthday party. They had bought a Piñata from me and didn't know they had to fill it themselves. The kids had hit it open and it was empty. FML

#20809207
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46588) - you deserved it (3821)

On 07/29/2013 at 2:30am - work - by Fitz - United States

Today, I was going so slow in traffic that my GPS asked me if I wanted to switch to pedestrian mode. FML

#20801861
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39337) - you deserved it (7203)

On 07/24/2013 at 9:31pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53065) - you deserved it (18209)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was marking exams. I then had to explain to many of the students that (a) pigs are not aquatic animals and (b) sharks do not have lungs. These are university students. FML

#20784658
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40810) - you deserved it (3546)

On 07/15/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by lame-o-prof (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48740) - you deserved it (4019)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)



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