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crdavis93's favorite FMLs
by dead / 03/08/2010 at 7:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my dad found out I got a tattoo behind his back and is really really upset. When I got home from work my car wasn't in the driveway. When I asked my dad where it was, he replied "you'll get it back when your tattoo comes off." FML
by tattooooooface / 01/28/2010 at 8:08am / United States / Miscellaneous
by toolegittoquit / 01/18/2010 at 3:28am / United States (Washington) / Work
by Silent / 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy
Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health
by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML
by anonymous / 11/16/2009 at 1:00am / Japan (Okinawa) / Kids
by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by shaggy / 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
by gbhlaughingstock / 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Animals
by verysadasian / 07/30/2009 at 10:21am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Fmycatslife / 07/26/2009 at 7:18pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals
Today, my girlfriend of eight years explained to me that the Egyptian pyramids were built by aliens from Mars. I have a B.S. in Biology and an M.S. in Anthropology, and I am working on my Ph.D. She thinks I'm an irrational idiot for telling her she is wrong. FML
by published_anthropologist / 07/23/2009 at 2:13am / United States / Work
Today, I realized my new kitten is the spawn of the devil. It decided to go get itself stuck in a tree. I tried to climb up to rescue it. But it kept climbing higher. I was about to grab the cat when I fell. The cat then jumped down and started purring. FML
by WearingOff / 07/13/2009 at 11:03pm / United States (California) / Animals
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…