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crdavis93

Offline (the 12/06/2014 at 9:55pm) | Search for a member

crdavis93

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 April 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1029
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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crdavis93's page activity

Visits<b>bloo_isanonymous</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 11:52pm<b>WillowB47</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:18am<b>ItsFeztho</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 11:31pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 11:35pm<b>sarah1024</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 3:04pm<b>Lost_in_Fantasy</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 4:13am<b>neeni88</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 2:08am<b>lo_and_behold</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 11:49pm<b>FistToBalls</b> - the 03/28/2013 at 6:48pm<b>brennanives</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 10:31pm

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crdavis93's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML

#15261290
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46086) - you deserved it (8741)

On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46321) - you deserved it (13274)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, I was walking to bed in fancy panties and a tight black tank top. My husband exclaimed, "This is the best part about being a grown up!" He was talking about the ice cream he was eating in bed. FML

#14698486
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29123) - you deserved it (4245)

On 01/24/2011 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

#14333152
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41992) - you deserved it (8770)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35369) - you deserved it (8726)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41943) - you deserved it (10160)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got an electric razor and a lesson from my dad on how to shave my mustache and chin. I also got my period. FML

#13906340
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38103) - you deserved it (3981)

On 11/20/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Tasha84 - United States (Texas)

Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML

#13873567
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23145) - you deserved it (5269)

On 11/17/2010 at 3:08am - intimacy - by nilssonfan (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it took me a full ten minutes to finish on the toilet. I was babysitting at the time, and it took the kids those ten minutes to destroy the kitchen and shave the cat. FML

#13840378
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26144) - you deserved it (7228)

On 11/14/2010 at 12:18pm - kids - by nicki - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML

#13614950
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28344) - you deserved it (2512)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by nothingdoes (woman) - United States

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

#13293107
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40384) - you deserved it (9450)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)

Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML

#13122832
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23740) - you deserved it (2281)

On 09/20/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by northernlass (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
418 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31791) - you deserved it (28430)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML

#12305755
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41695) - you deserved it (7350)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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