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crdavis93's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
by Anon / 03/10/2011 at 10:08am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML
by mom21 / 02/08/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, I was walking to bed in fancy panties and a tight black tank top. My husband exclaimed, "This is the best part about being a grown up!" He was talking about the ice cream he was eating in bed. FML
by Anonymous / 01/24/2011 at 2:43pm / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
by Jessie / 12/25/2010 at 8:38am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Wisconsin love / 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by Tasha84 / 11/20/2010 at 12:21am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML
by nilssonfan / 11/17/2010 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by nicki / 11/14/2010 at 12:18pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by nothingdoes / 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm / United States / Intimacy
by blah blah daddy / 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML
by northernlass / 09/20/2010 at 12:47am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/04/2010 at 6:24am / United Kingdom (London) / Animals
- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…