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crdavis93's favorite FMLs
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 4:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by kidswithnomanners / 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML
by Jace / 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Love
by nerofirst / 08/19/2011 at 9:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/12/2011 at 6:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation
by Alohaporno / 08/03/2011 at 2:31pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by INside / 08/02/2011 at 12:52am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Username / 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm / United States / Love
by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I received a phone call at work about an emergency and I had to come home immediately. I arrived to find that no one had been hurt and the house hadn't burned down. The "emergency" was my mom ran out of milk and cigarettes. FML
by A / 06/04/2011 at 3:48pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous
by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/10/2011 at 1:07am / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
- Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they… Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room,… Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file…
- Today, I woke up from a nap because I heard my mother and her fiancée having rough sex while I and… Today my boss fussed at me for something my co-worker did yesterday "because you were sitting right… Today, my husband decided to sell my car, which is in excellent working condition. Why? He decided…