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crdavis93's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML
by Loserbot / 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML
by sal / 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy
by Deaththreat101 / 08/08/2012 at 4:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML
by Alisha / 08/07/2012 at 2:04pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 06/14/2012 at 10:54am / China (Jiangsu) / Health
Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML
by idontgetit / 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned that instead of training my cat, she has been training me. She now refuses to drink anything but running tap water, and yowls loudly early in the morning at my bedroom door to be fed. FML
by Anon127 / 06/11/2012 at 10:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
by Anonymous / 05/14/2012 at 1:26am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went to the store for some pads with my dad. We got them and then went to the cashier. That's when he realized that they were scented. He took one out of the box, sniffed it, made me sniff it, then insisted the cashier smell it. FML
by vron991 / 05/13/2012 at 1:02am / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous
by ShadowJack / 04/29/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I visited my new doctor, hoping that he would be able to figure out the cause of the pains I've been having for years. He told me there's nothing he can do, that half the drugs out there cause cancer anyway and that I should look into homeopathy. Great. FML
by freakofnature / 03/31/2012 at 12:17pm / United States (Indiana) / Health
by laststand11 / 03/28/2012 at 6:49pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
- Today, things were getting steamy with my boyfriend. For once, I tried to be more vocal to turn him… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, and since forever, my boyfriend talks in his sleep. Last night, he told me, “I like you very…