crdavis93

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Offline (the 12/06/2014 at 9:55pm)

crdavis93

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 April 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1953
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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crdavis93's page activity

Visits<b>bloo_isanonymous</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 11:52pm<b>WillowB47</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:18am<b>ItsFeztho</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 11:31pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 11:35pm<b>sarah1024</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 3:04pm<b>Lost_in_Fantasy</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 4:13am<b>neeni88</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 2:08am<b>lo_and_behold</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 11:49pm<b>FistToBalls</b> - the 03/28/2013 at 6:48pm<b>brennanives</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 10:31pm

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crdavis93's favorite FMLs

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2013 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2013 at 12:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

by awkwardturtle / 01/25/2013 at 12:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

by Bella / 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

by Nightmare / 01/15/2013 at 9:41am / Kids

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

by no sleep for me / 01/08/2013 at 2:44am / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML

by marisa / 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm / Ireland (Carlow) / Love

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

by wtf / 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Health

Today, while at work taking notes on a pad of paper, my boss witnessed me trying to scroll down on the paper, as if it was a touch-screen phone. FML

by mdg / 12/04/2012 at 12:16pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML

by Z / 11/13/2012 at 7:43pm / Australia / Love

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mum, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML

by notalovestory / 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

by CutestBoysEver / 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my fiancé spent three hours arguing with his mom about how Scientology is a cult followed by simple-minded asshats; she shouted at him saying Xenu will come and fuck his shit up for not believing. This woman is going to be my children's grandmother. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 3:54am / South Africa / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML

Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML

by PuddlePirate / 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work