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crazytwinsmom

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crazytwinsmom

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1532
  • Number of comments : 671
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

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crazytwinsmom's page activity

Visits<b>xn3x</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 3:15am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 5:38am<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 7:42am<b>lovely_1818</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:29am<b>Mike592</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:57pm<b>Vayu</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 3:54am<b>Atrius82</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:31am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 9:37pm<b>Laeffy</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 2:05am<b>martin8337</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 7:03am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 8:55pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 3:35pm<b>luridz</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 8:38am<b>Banana_cult</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:28pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 11:51am<b>Sansa</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 12:29pm<b>JPStarre</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 6:31am<b>ForeignKestrel</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 3:16pm

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 3:37am<b>martin8337</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 1:03pm<b>luridz</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 2:38pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 5:51pm<b>ThatOneGirl2020</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 4:29am<b>JoshuaOdom</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 8:32pm<b>kee_breezy32</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 4:15am

crazytwinsmom's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of crazytwinsmom's badges

crazytwinsmom's favorite FMLs

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my dad about my worries for my mental health. He then told me about the tracking device the aliens had implanted in his hand when they abducted him. There's nothing like family. FML

Today, my mom called my workplace and told my boss to make sure I wear a hat so I didn't get heatstroke like I did on my last shift. I'm 25. FML

#21396530
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26705) - you deserved it (3434)

On 04/19/2015 at 10:39pm - work - by notmysistersbf (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML

#21384902
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26386) - you deserved it (2287)

On 03/31/2015 at 7:32pm - work - by DrunkParents - United States (Montana)

Today, I woke up to the lovely sounds of goats having escaped their pen and climbed onto the roof. Again. FML

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31916) - you deserved it (18307)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, a customer told me, "Girls your size can't bend at the waist." I couldn't stop laughing at the imagery long enough to be really offended. FML

#21161933
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36270) - you deserved it (5294)

On 06/03/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by jennythezebra (woman) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, my cat decided to hide in the garbage can so he could get a free trip outside, but was too fat to climb all of the way inside of it. He got stuck half-way in. It took me ten minutes to get him out. FML

Today, I realized I'm so scared of my manager that I don't even dare to quit my job. The same job I want to quit exactly because I'm so scared of her. FML

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, my boss hung a dartboard in his office. It has a printout of my employee photo taped to it. FML

#21023884
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40006) - you deserved it (4575)

On 01/10/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by lk mm, n vwls (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML

#21023350
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44261) - you deserved it (5443)

On 01/10/2014 at 6:15am - animals - by RaccoonFever - United States (California)

Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on the hips, and a long, sock-like nose. She has no idea they're meant for a guy. FML

#20989013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53058) - you deserved it (5113)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by ElephantLover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

#20963971
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27665) - you deserved it (67001)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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