Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

crazybird525

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

crazybird525

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 226
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

crazybird525's page activity

Visits<b>michaelaranda</b> - yesterday at 4:13am<b>claudia19801811</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:58pm<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 7:41pm<b>ohnowhyme123</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 12:38am<b>SaucyGirl106</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 11:13pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 9:47pm<b>Edumcg</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 3:17pm<b>oli_c</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 11:37pm<b>Anthony52</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 5:38pm<b>Apretendbiscuit</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 12:05pm<b>lulubelles</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 2:10pm<b>ifhydomo23</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 4:37pm

Liked!<b>michaelaranda</b> - 21 hours ago

crazybird525's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of crazybird525's badges

crazybird525's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister shot my dog with my airsoft gun. When I told my parents, she put on the fakest sobbing I've ever heard, said she didn't even know how to use a gun, and that she saw me shoot my own dog. They believed her and think I need psychiatric help. FML

#21378741
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30459) - you deserved it (1972)

On 03/21/2015 at 1:36am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33145) - you deserved it (6063)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. The guy who picked up sounded drunk, told me to fuck off, and hung up. FML

#21342247
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39102) - you deserved it (3340)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML

#21341383
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29365) - you deserved it (3666)

On 01/21/2015 at 12:34am - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

#21340885
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32787) - you deserved it (3411)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

#21339686
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38336) - you deserved it (3298)

On 01/18/2015 at 4:58pm - misc - by pissed out pants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I refused to serve a woman alcohol, as she looked underage. She complained to my manager about "age racism". FML

#21335591
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30300) - you deserved it (2217)

On 01/12/2015 at 3:23am - work - by nick (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42365) - you deserved it (2992)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years, who can't get it up for me and has been blaming blood pressure issues, apparently has no problem getting it up while watching the neighbor undress from our window. FML

#21276105
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38956) - you deserved it (4225)

On 10/12/2014 at 9:21am - intimacy - by MotherMary - United States (Missouri)

Today, as I awoke, the sun was shining, the birds were tweeting, and police sirens were wailing at a drug bust next door. FML

#21234535
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39700) - you deserved it (3449)

On 08/11/2014 at 1:11am - misc - by Ithoughtheywerenormalpeople (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

#21104415
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34054) - you deserved it (18713)

On 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

#20634623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20470) - you deserved it (69376)

On 05/01/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by luvs2spooge89 - United States (New York)

Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML

#20581005
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41332) - you deserved it (2198)

On 04/08/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML

#18086269
529 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10117) - you deserved it (185502)

On 10/27/2011 at 1:01am - work - by charlie3289 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML

#850097
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13643) - you deserved it (160719)

On 04/07/2009 at 7:46am - misc - by Brastro (man) - Ireland (Kildare)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: