cr4ckb0n3f4n

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cr4ckb0n3f4n

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4304
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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cr4ckb0n3f4n's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 7:37am<b>rylaii</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 4:46am<b>oops6663</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 4:43pm<b>Ilikepie467</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:22am<b>brezzy_dawn0923</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 8:11pm<b>babyladuke</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 12:25pm<b>RockNRollAndrew</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 12:21pm<b>xxButtersxx</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 12:04am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 10:37am<b>dandee_one</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 3:32am<b>ShadowsOfTheDays</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 1:00am<b>fgsuperman</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 5:06pm<b>EpicWaffle</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 9:48pm<b>megank12</b> - the 03/06/2013 at 7:55am<b>Mornai</b> - the 10/22/2011 at 4:32am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:28pm<b>Aerryn</b> - the 12/20/2010 at 6:26am<b>napi1phi</b> - the 01/07/2010 at 6:34pm

cr4ckb0n3f4n's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

cr4ckb0n3f4n's favorite FMLs

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

by shootme / 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2011 at 1:58am / United States / Transportation

Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML

by Anon / 08/04/2011 at 4:30am / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

by Katrina / 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 12:21am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2010 at 9:12am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML

by notsoonenufdeparted / 10/02/2010 at 1:07am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML

by lendahandmanda / 02/23/2010 at 7:01pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to get a haircut. The hairdresser at the counter was kind of cute, so I had to say something non-standard. When she greeted me with her hello, I replied "Guess what I need from you today?" She looked at me, considered, and replied "An eyebrow wax?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2009 at 12:48pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, working my pizza delivery job, I got a $45 parking ticket for parking in a no stopping zone. I argued with the bylaw enforcement officer, but no luck. I was so pissed, I yelled at him: "You have the worst job in the world", to which he replied: " Buddy, you deliver pizza!" FML

by nick / 10/18/2009 at 9:39am / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, I was in a fancy department store. I was wearing my travel backpack. I was turning around after paying at the checkout and my backpack hit a metre-tall display covered with necklaces. It went crashing to the floor, hitting another display table laden with jewelry that collapsed under it. FML

by two-hours-to-pick-up / 10/09/2009 at 5:46am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, waiting for the bus, this creepy guy in the terminal kept staring at me. Feeling creeped out, I started walking, knowing I could pick up the bus down the street. When the bus drove up, it was almost completely full and the only open seat was next to the creepy dude from the bus station. FML

by WhyMe / 09/25/2009 at 11:54pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML

by ewewew / 09/24/2009 at 6:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

by uh-oh / 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy