Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cr1mson_k1ss

Search for a member

cr1mson_k1ss
  • Town/Country : Johannesburg, South Africa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 November 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 18751
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

cr1mson_k1ss's last visitors

silverstream20jonnyscashk4m1k4z3fat_snooki_lolyayuhhSelenaMilkshakeOffspringxXlLaMaXxmunzapoppa

cr1mson_k1ss's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of cr1mson_k1ss's badges

cr1mson_k1ss's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML

#20708788
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54510) - you deserved it (5854)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

#20708003
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49313) - you deserved it (3447)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML

#20707121
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43370) - you deserved it (11623)

On 06/05/2013 at 5:46am - work - by WOWBear - United States (Arizona)

Today, during my boyfriend's family reunion, I started my period but didn't have any tampons. I asked my boyfriend to ask his mom if she had any. I sat on the toilet waiting, then heard him loudly ask his whole family "Does anybody have a tampon my girlfriend can have?" FML

#18343392
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29537) - you deserved it (3746)

On 11/25/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Jessie - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

#18342108
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24711) - you deserved it (2129)

On 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm - misc - by hannahlorraine - United States

Today, I tried to buy a bottle of wine from the supermarket. The scrawny, acne-ridden kid at the checkout asked to see my ID. I didn't have any on me, since I'm 37 years old and didn't expect to be asked stupid questions. I complained to his manager, only to be asked to leave. FML

#18338380
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11668) - you deserved it (45488)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:19pm - misc - by Andrew - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

#18334722
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25328) - you deserved it (3407)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, things were getting heated with my girlfriend, so I tried taking her shirt off. Slapping my hands away, she said, "I was only dating you to get my self-confidence up, I'm good now." FML

#18333662
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37212) - you deserved it (3515)

On 11/24/2011 at 1:52am - intimacy - by Badab1ng - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend used a laser pointer to show me where I needed to lose weight. FML

#18329759
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25962) - you deserved it (4170)

On 11/23/2011 at 6:54pm - health - by chunkymonkey (woman) -

Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML

#18067303
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38527) - you deserved it (2959)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80456) - you deserved it (11874)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was at the book store when a book caught my eye: Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies. I wanted to look through the book but I was too nervous to pick it up, thinking everyone in the store would look at me. FML

#17698757
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27387) - you deserved it (5137)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:01pm - health - by Mack - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML

#17500518
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6951) - you deserved it (91496)

On 08/17/2011 at 2:27pm - misc - by Tom - United States (Texas)

Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML

#17500092
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24935) - you deserved it (3207)

On 08/17/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by santasadiekins - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. I called AAA, and they said it would take 2 hours to get there. They called 2 hours later saying they got a flat tire and would be there in another 2 hours. FML

#17499857
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35493) - you deserved it (2708)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: