cottoncandymango

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Offline (the 03/07/2016 at 11:31pm)

cottoncandymango

31Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2829
  • Number of comments : 229
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cottoncandymango : Movie enthusiast, ice cream addict, full-time chocolate lover, and procrastinator extraordinaire. I love Italian food, naps, and being happy. ♡

cottoncandymango's page activity

Visits<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 2:04pm<b>angrykid11</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 8:20am<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 2:55am<b>Phenix01</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 10:21am<b>dontmindme7</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 5:00pm<b>Iamentertained</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 1:22pm<b>dom_g</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 1:08am<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 8:32pm<b>AnonymousKrew</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 7:15pm<b>iwillreapyou</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 4:28pm<b>Fernando83</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 11:48pm<b>alex1010</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 10:45pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 6:42pm<b>EmperorChowilio</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 1:23am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 3:47pm<b>LPac5295</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 9:39am<b>xigxag</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 9:26am<b>insanelocket</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 9:31am

Fucked!<b>iwillreapyou</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 10:28pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 12:42am<b>ajlopez</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 4:46pm<b>joco4</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 12:29pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 5:44pm<b>hai111</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 9:08am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 10:59am<b>mattv88</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:04pm<b>AnonymousUser90</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:35pm<b>krishgad</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 3:16pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 2:12pm<b>alfonze07</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:52am<b>RA91</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 1:25am<b>imkool136</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 10:10pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 7:40pm<b>DrummerWS</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 1:47pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 12:39pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:21pm

cottoncandymango's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of cottoncandymango's badges

cottoncandymango's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a piano lesson playing a song I had worked very hard to make perfect. Halfway through, my teacher abruptly stops me and asks, "Did you notice that I rearranged the furniture?" FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 2:52am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 4:19am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, one of my coworkers asked if I hated my life and was depressed because of how I look most of the time. This is just my facial expression. FML

by anon / 07/25/2013 at 12:44am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

by GeeThanks / 07/24/2013 at 10:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML

by Iamdisappointed / 07/24/2013 at 7:50am / Sweden (Dalarnas Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

by GiantsFan13 / 07/23/2013 at 10:49am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend got angry because I laughed when he asked me if he should retire from being a Pokemon Trainer. He was serious. He's also 21. FML

by ihatepokemon / 07/22/2013 at 6:14pm / United States / Love

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

by Parentalfailure / 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

by notenoughunderwearintheworld / 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Transportation

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 11:45am / United States (Delaware) / Work

Today, I was playing solitaire when an achievement popped up on my phone. "You have just completed your 1000th game of solitaire!" Never felt so alone in my life. FML

by solitaire / 07/20/2013 at 4:14am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a blind date and we seemed to have hit it off nicely. I asked him if he could drive me home. Along the way he stopped on a pitch-black road and told me to get out so he could take a picture. He then gave me my bag and drove off, leaving me stranded in the middle of nowhere. FML

by Misshhh / 07/19/2013 at 12:02am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

by coldstar / 07/18/2013 at 5:06am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2013 at 9:55pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I went to the grocery store with my husband, only to find that his ex-wife worked there. Then I found out he never actually divorced her. FML

by me:( / 07/16/2013 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy