cosmicriver

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Offline (the 08/25/2014 at 12:43am)

cosmicriver

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 October 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1815
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About cosmicriver : This cosmic dance of bursting decadence and withheld permissions twists our arms collectively. Though, if love can win, and it can, then I will still be here tomorrow to hi five you yesterday my friend.......peace.

cosmicriver's page activity

Visits<b>BFons</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 12:39am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 4:51am<b>theultimatedeth</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 12:33am<b>Adi_Dancer</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 7:38pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 5:16am<b>ukeandfoodislife</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 10:27pm<b>EmoFluffy</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 4:39am<b>sweetheartless</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 11:26pm<b>Tobamf</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:22am<b>TheCookieComet</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 3:35pm<b>rafa015</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:02pm<b>plagiarismo</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 2:45am<b>mk1hate1my1job1</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 12:21am<b>boostedc</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:26am<b>missblove</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:45am<b>Codyfootball</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:25pm<b>CCRider</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 2:42pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 2:47pm

Fucked!<b>BFons</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 8:27am

cosmicriver's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of cosmicriver's badges

cosmicriver's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

by oh shit / 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I made an excuse and didn't turn up at work. Little did I know my boss did the same. We both bumped into each other at the shopping centre across town. FML

by AGB10 / 06/23/2014 at 2:11pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Work

Today, I drove 12 hours with 6 screaming little girls. They were arguing about things that should've been in the Lego movie. They watched it 4 times. FML

by kennyjhynes / 06/23/2014 at 9:56am / United States / Kids

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

by LoveGlove / 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML

by faitesdesgosses / 05/19/2014 at 10:27am / Kids

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

by Jarool / 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son gave me some flowers for Mother's Day. Unfortunately, the only time I can enjoy them is when I go into the bathroom where they are kept so the cat doesn't eat them. FML

by darquedraconian / 05/11/2014 at 10:27pm / United States (South Dakota) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Love

Today, I moved into my new house. The previous occupants failed to tell me that they'd recently kicked out their crazy crackhead son, who seems to think they've paid me to pretend that they've moved out and that I'm the new owner. He wants back in. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2014 at 3:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

by Felicityfrank / 05/01/2014 at 10:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she's been sleeping with him. FML

by loserman / 04/29/2014 at 6:40pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

by caught out / 04/26/2014 at 7:29pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML

by fuckingfloridahowihatethee / 04/26/2014 at 3:55pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML

by Quackadoodledoo / 04/23/2014 at 10:21pm / United Kingdom (Barnet) / Transportation

Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2014 at 11:00pm / United States / Intimacy