coolster5000

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Offline (the 09/29/2015 at 8:45pm)

coolster5000

23Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1888
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 15 posted

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coolster5000's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - yesterday at 4:22pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 1:52am<b>LiliK</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 8:13am<b>noodlemantra</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 4:54am<b>arich6210</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 7:45pm<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 10:42am<b>arealsexybitch</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 7:43pm<b>oceanic_bluee</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 5:44pm<b>saraaa2552</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 3:02pm<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 8:54am<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 11:04pm<b>happypenguins</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 11:42pm<b>MoxieJones</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 6:02pm<b>sodapoppin</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 1:14am<b>Pixanator</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 1:00am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 7:38am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 3:50am<b>dumbchoices72</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 7:55am

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - yesterday at 10:21pm<b>oceanic_bluee</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 10:44pm<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 5:04am<b>happypenguins</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 5:42am<b>NoOrdinaryNZer</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 12:13pm<b>wecameasromans15</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 2:36am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 11:13pm<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 8:27am<b>Liz12309</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 5:57am<b>The_madmax</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 10:28pm<b>alyssa81296</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:38am<b>summergirl69</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 6:20am<b>fiveforfighting</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 3:08am<b>anabanana159</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 9:17pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 1:46am<b>my_horrible_life</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 7:19am<b>viaaaaaa</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 3:33am<b>royr7395</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 12:47am

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coolster5000's favorite FMLs

Today, I removed the side rails from my truck because I didn't think I really needed them. An hour later, I went to Wal-Mart, forgot they were gone, and busted my ass in public while getting out of my truck. FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2013 at 12:06pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

by anon / 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm / United States / Kids

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML

by nahalDZ / 10/20/2012 at 1:29pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

by Watchtower? More like fortress. / 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm / Norway (Oslo) / Miscellaneous

Today, two days after leaving hospital with a broken left leg, I tripped and fell heavily on the floor. My dad quickly asked if I'd broken my other leg. When I reassured him that I hadn't, he disappointedly muttered that it would've been a hilarious story to tell his friends at work. FML

by fucking har har, dad / 10/05/2012 at 7:38pm / Australia / Health

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm / United Kingdom (Wokingham) / Kids

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm / United Kingdom (Wokingham) / Kids

Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 12:37am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

by RawrSparkle / 09/21/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous