cookiesFTW

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Offline (yesterday at 3:07am)

cookiesFTW

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8490
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookiesFTW : Hello everyone!! I like to come on this site to read Fmls when I'm bored. I have good sense of humor, I'm really friendly and love cats. I do have hearing aids but that doesn't make me any different than anyone else.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk.

cookiesFTW's page activity

Visits<b>Rskittles10</b> - yesterday at 3:44am<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 2:54am<b>emmnguyenn</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 11:09am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 3:54pm<b>frecklesrose93</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 11:21pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 8:07am<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 1:04pm<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 1:30pm<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 6:57pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 12:35am<b>qdawg06</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 1:55pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 9:45pm<b>veebz256</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 11:14pm<b>clair1357</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:58pm<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 9:05pm<b>yasmineseijmon</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 3:36pm<b>MDoremis</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 2:23am<b>nerovetsrethca</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 6:05pm

Fucked!<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 7:04pm<b>nerovetsrethca</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:05am<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 4:11pm

cookiesFTW's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of cookiesFTW's badges

cookiesFTW's favorite FMLs

Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I aproached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2012 at 6:37am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that instead of training my cat, she has been training me. She now refuses to drink anything but running tap water, and yowls loudly early in the morning at my bedroom door to be fed. FML

by Anon127 / 06/11/2012 at 10:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I got a new pair of glasses, and was driving home. While waiting at a stop sign, I noticed a homeless guy touching himself. He saw me, smiled and waved, and then continued. So much for my new eyesight. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2012 at 4:30pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to break up with her. It was a hard decision and both of us became quite emotionally overwhelmed at the time. We began to hug as a final goodbye, then her mum burst in the room and yelled, "HE FINALLY PROPOSED!" FML

by Matt / 06/03/2012 at 10:21am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML

by ilovezim29 / 06/03/2012 at 3:45am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2012 at 6:24am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

by ironyisabitch / 06/02/2012 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was admitted to hospital for suspected kidney failure. I called my best friend to let her know I couldn't make it to her birthday party tonight. She seemed to be infinitely more upset that I wouldn't be able to give her a birthday present. FML

by Ashe / 06/01/2012 at 1:58pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I was admitted to hospital for suspected kidney failure. I called my best friend to let her know I couldn't make it to her birthday party tonight. She seemed to be infinitely more upset that I wouldn't be able to give her a birthday present. FML

by Ashe / 06/01/2012 at 1:58pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2012 at 3:02am / United States / Kids

Today, I went to Busch Gardens. Trying to cool off, I got on a ride that soaked me to the bone. For the rest of the time I was there, my bra was visible through my clothes, along with the "Hell Yeah" printed on my underwear. FML

by taylortotscx / 05/27/2012 at 1:15pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my car broke down and had to be towed to the dealership. Normally, this would be just unlucky but I work with kids and we had been fundraising for charity. I am now sitting at the dealership with my hair coloured purple, red and blue and in ridiculously high pigtails while people stare. FML

by straightlyconfused / 05/27/2012 at 9:20am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I went into my classroom to find a bag of shit on my desk with a note saying, "Thanks for failing me b*tch!" FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2012 at 12:59am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML

by Shopper / 05/23/2012 at 6:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I took the bus. The old lady next to me almost fell when the driver stopped, but I managed to catch her. Five minutes later, the same thing happened to me. The old lady tried to help me, but I lost my balance and pulled her skirt down. FML

by alexo / 05/23/2012 at 11:52am / United States / Transportation