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cookiesFTW

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cookiesFTW

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5143
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookiesFTW : Hello everyone!! I like to come on this site to read Fmls when I'm bored. I have good sense of humor, I'm really friendly and love cats. I do have hearing aids but that doesn't make me any different than anyone else.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk.

cookiesFTW's page activity

Visits<b>clair1357</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:58pm<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 9:05pm<b>yasmineseijmon</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 3:36pm<b>MDoremis</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 2:23am<b>nerovetsrethca</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 6:05pm<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 2:08pm<b>miichiii</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 12:54pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 1:32am<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Ley135</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 4:06am<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 4:44pm<b>tyger_devlin</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:17pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 7:56pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:12pm<b>CottonCandyQueen</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 8:08pm<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:39pm<b>AlaskanG</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 11:18pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 12:03am

Liked!<b>nerovetsrethca</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:05am<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 4:11pm

cookiesFTW's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of cookiesFTW's badges

cookiesFTW's favorite FMLs

Today, I was outside serecing fir "treasures" wit my son using small plastic sovels. All of a sudden e starts screaming. He dug up te bones of our old dog. I told im tat we ad sent im away to live on a farm, I even elped my son write letters to te farm owners. FML

#640480
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21520) - you deserved it (88181)

On 03/27/2009 at 9:05am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Austria (Vorarlberg)

Today, I decidd to cheat on my math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfid, I handd my test in feeling like I had acd it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily wavd goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML

#637114
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17342) - you deserved it (190561)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by rutho (man) - United States (California)

TODAY, I WAS SHAVING OFF MY BAARD 4 THA FIRST TIMA IN A VARY LONG TIMA . I DACIDAD TO HAVA A LITTLA FUN WITH IT, AND SHAVAD MY BAARD FIRST INTO A GOATAA, THAN A HANDLA-BAR, THAN, FINALLY, INTO A HITLAR MUSTACHA . MY ALACTRIC RAZOR DIAS . I DON'T HAVA A NORMAL ONA OR AN AXTRA BATTARY . FML

#597085
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37858) - you deserved it (82879)

On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, me an my boyfriend cummed back to my looool house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

#415809
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101621) - you deserved it (45847)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by MrAwsum (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my Christian boyfriend of six months broke up with me. I had told him when we startd dating that I was an atheist, and he just now decidd to look up wat it is. He gave me a bible.

#320737
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69783) - you deserved it (16387)

On 03/14/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

TODAY, I FINALLY GOT THE COURAGE TO TELL MAH BEST FRIEND THAT I'VE HAD A CRUSH ON HIM SINCE OUR JUNIOR YEAR. SINCE I COULDN'T SEE HIM I SHOT HIM A TEXT. HIS RESPONSE: "YEAH I KNOW. I'VE TRID KIND OF IGNORING IT." FML

#299103
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73754) - you deserved it (7086)

On 03/13/2009 at 3:27am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on cock. I quickly rippd the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watchd a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fuckd a spider. FML

#278783
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52498) - you deserved it (98452)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled mah name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it an assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 an a graduate student, they're six an mentally challenged. Guess who was right? big fat FML

#260093
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16599) - you deserved it (63340)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:46am - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

2day at work , I was alone in te breakroom wen I got a sligt pain in ma belly. I tougt I needd to pass gas , so I trid since no one else was in tere. It wasn't gas. It was diarrea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML

#242337
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61921) - you deserved it (18119)

On 03/08/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by squirty_joe (woman) - United States

Today, I was working at Target when an old woman askd me if I could help her fine her favorite bra. I askd wat brand it was when she replid "I'll check the tag". She liftd up the front of her shirt, and flippd one cup of her bra inside out. I saw everything. real FML

#228106
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61979) - you deserved it (3844)

On 03/06/2009 at 6:11pm - work - by laurenmay (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was working at Target when an old woman askd me if I could help her fine her favorite bra. I askd wat brand it was when she replid "I'll check the tag". She liftd up the front of her shirt, and flippd one cup of her bra inside out. I saw everything. real FML

#228106
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61979) - you deserved it (3844)

On 03/06/2009 at 6:11pm - work - by laurenmay (woman) - United States (Florida)

Yesterday I Was At This Awesome Party And I Was Dancing With This Really Attractive Grlho Startd Making Out With Me All Of A Sudden. Five Minutes Later , Mah Friend Told Me That The Grl Had Just Given Him A Blowjob. Big Fat FML

#225509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61890) - you deserved it (10333)

On 03/06/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by cumguzzler - United States (South Carolina)

TODAY, FIR MAH TWO-YEAR ANNIVERSARY I GOT MAH GRLFRIEND A VERY EXPENSIVE DIAMOND NECKLACE . SHE GOT ME MALE ENHANCEMENT PILLS . FML

#197066
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (148041) - you deserved it (16870)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by eaa145 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I Was Sitting Beside This Cute Guy On A Bench. Suddenly, He Goes, "I Know We Don't Know Each Other Very Well, But Would You Lyk To Have Dinner On Saturday?" I Turn To Him With A Goofy Smile, And Exclaim "I'D LOVE TO!" He Gives Me A Weird Look, Turns His Head And Points To His Bluetooth. FML

#194587
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74268) - you deserved it (20928)

On 03/03/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by asdfasdf - United States (Virginia)



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