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cookiesFTW

Offline (the 07/07/2015 at 6:00pm) | Search for a member

cookiesFTW

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6679
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookiesFTW : Hello everyone!! I like to come on this site to read Fmls when I'm bored. I have good sense of humor, I'm really friendly and love cats. I do have hearing aids but that doesn't make me any different than anyone else.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk.

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Fucked!<b>nerovetsrethca</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:05am<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 4:11pm

cookiesFTW's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of cookiesFTW's badges

cookiesFTW's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in Walmart. I saw a demo for Guitar Hero on the DS so I started playing. I was kicking ass and really feeling great about myself. I then looked away for a second, looked back down, and saw that the notes were still being hit. The demo had been on automatic-player the entire time. FML

#2414317
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18758) - you deserved it (62950)

On 05/29/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by theskippster - United States (Maryland)

Today, I brought home a vase, which I was proud of, that I made for my mother in my pottery class. My mother took one look at it and said, "Oh good, you can sell that in our garage sale." FML

#2299417
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43707) - you deserved it (2938)

On 05/26/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by Allen (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking in Walmart and this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk so I followed him around the store trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. And he told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML

#2156907
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11894) - you deserved it (49633)

On 05/21/2009 at 7:46pm - misc - by liz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML

#1639101
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19872) - you deserved it (61464)

On 05/04/2009 at 7:27pm - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a telemarketer called for my dad. Jokingly, I said, "I haven't seen him for like five days...I'm starting to get worried," in my best child-like voice. Apparently the telemarketer called Child Protective Services. I'm 20. FML

#1490808
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15096) - you deserved it (63193)

On 04/30/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Telemistake (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML

#1452410
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67079) - you deserved it (30174)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by hyper12332 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, trying to make my 6 year old daughter to laugh, I drew a picture of a butt, a puff of air coming out and the word "toot". My daughter thought it extremely funny. Later, when she was talking with my extremely judgmental mother-in-law, I heard her say "daddy taught me how to draw butts." FML

#1453459
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21088) - you deserved it (48321)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was talking to my hot neighbor. We were in the driveway of her house, and I looked at her car and noticed a hideous dummy. It was fat and just ugly, but I didn't think much of it. I tried to make a joke and asked, "Where did you get that awful thing?" She said, "That's my daughter". FML

#1243795
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11254) - you deserved it (78176)

On 04/22/2009 at 11:11pm - misc - by brob56 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

#1216393
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54812) - you deserved it (9077)

On 04/22/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by fencernick (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I swam in a race against all of the girls in the midwest in the hardest, longest, most grueling race you can swim. I won. Happy but so tired I could barely move, I looked up to see my time. I had been disqualified. For flinching. Before the race started. FML

#1054756
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81046) - you deserved it (6367)

On 04/17/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taking an exam and I knew I was unprepared, so I wrote some cheat notes on my ankle. As I cross my legs to look at my notes, I realize I wore tall boots to class. I can't even cheat properly. FML

#1018681
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15547) - you deserved it (128274)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:21pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today , I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money saying its collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then uses his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and wins 500 dollars. The jackass wouldnt split it. FML

#945188
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111772) - you deserved it (16446)

On 04/13/2009 at 4:51am - misc - by AJShow80 - United States

Today , I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money saying its collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then uses his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and wins 500 dollars. The jackass wouldnt split it. FML

#945188
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111772) - you deserved it (16446)

On 04/13/2009 at 4:51am - misc - by AJShow80 - United States

Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being smart said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk and me. FML

#901011
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67076) - you deserved it (3364)

On 04/10/2009 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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