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Offline (the 11/20/2015 at 12:34pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 July 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1971
  • Number of comments : 125
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About confusedAsFuck : Apparently, my dick wants to whack her

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confusedAsFuck's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML


I agree, your life sucks (239814) - you deserved it (30063)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML


I agree, your life sucks (381276) - you deserved it (43706)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML


I agree, your life sucks (307183) - you deserved it (21593)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML


I agree, your life sucks (443710) - you deserved it (73718)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML


I agree, your life sucks (256539) - you deserved it (27178)

On 04/02/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML


I agree, your life sucks (640940) - you deserved it (42403)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had an elaborate plan to ask this girl to Prom, and it was going to take a few minutes to set up. I asked my friend to distract her. He decided to distract her by asking her to Prom. She said "Yes". FML


I agree, your life sucks (269615) - you deserved it (45456)

On 03/24/2009 at 11:41am - love - by Kaeyne (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I heard my boyfriend of 3 months talking with his friend, not knowing I could hear them. "Tonight's the night," my boyfriend says. "I'm finally going to tell her I love her!" I got really excited, deciding i loved him too. Then his friend says, "Awesome! But what about Kayla?" I'm Kayla. FML


I agree, your life sucks (246761) - you deserved it (16905)

On 03/22/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML


I agree, your life sucks (264915) - you deserved it (35178)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (229625) - you deserved it (30248)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Michigan)

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