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condog99

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condog99
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  • Number of visits : 111
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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condog99's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister found out that Justin Bieber got arrested and now she won't stop crying. 5ML

#21037837
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41874) - you deserved it (4962)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:28am - misc - by Estee1024 - United States (California)

Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21025933
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30275) - you deserved it (37450)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML

#21024837
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40792) - you deserved it (20070)

On 01/11/2014 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML

#21016927
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38264) - you deserved it (15055)

On 01/04/2014 at 6:43pm - misc - by awkwardpartybear (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my mom why she had two tooth brushes: one manual and one electric. She said: "I only use the manual one for brushing my teeth." FML

#21013669
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41536) - you deserved it (5817)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Vincent - United States (Kansas)

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37077) - you deserved it (3874)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend gave me his theory on how the world would be a better place if Hitler had won the 2nd World War. FML

#20995909
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38800) - you deserved it (5377)

On 12/17/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by Well this Is Awkward (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got kicked out of my band by the guy who quit two weeks ago. The bad part? Everyone else agreed with him. FML

#20995103
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33094) - you deserved it (3740)

On 12/16/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by dazed and confused - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

#20994621
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50674) - you deserved it (2504)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by confsused - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom got pissed off at my doctor and called him a quack. She did this because he reassured her that I don't show any signs of the mental retardation that she's convinced herself I must have. FML

#20993646
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42620) - you deserved it (2744)

On 12/15/2013 at 4:48pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Croatia (Licko-Senjska)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49628) - you deserved it (2360)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got nominated to sit in a chair in the middle of the gym during a high school rally while the entire school got to throw paper balls at me. FML

#20979287
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39023) - you deserved it (3750)

On 12/03/2013 at 11:34am - misc - by reallyhighschool (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me over text message while I was away for work. She later posted photos of her and her new boyfriend on Facebook, while still wearing my engagement ring. FML

#20972059
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48950) - you deserved it (2545)

On 11/27/2013 at 12:51am - love - by grantsidiots - Australia (Queensland)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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