comedybreak

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Offline (the 03/19/2016 at 12:33am)

comedybreak

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 July 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5444
  • Number of comments : 115
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 47 posted

About comedybreak : #Yolo

comedybreak's page activity

Visits<b>xxdreamloverxx</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 6:48am<b>maxthebigseal</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 3:13am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 06/02/2016 at 3:02am<b>Shamandalie89</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 3:04am<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 11:15am<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 11:03am<b>sugerpop2</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 1:45am<b>CougeeSwagg</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 9:52pm<b>Vikton0101</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 10:29pm<b>Dodgejeeptrucks</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 8:02pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 3:22am<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 12:08am<b>usbutuk</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 6:58am<b>Farklez</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 6:06pm<b>L0uls</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 5:45pm<b>arrouz</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 2:10pm<b>PopBlox</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 7:30am<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 4:02pm

Fucked!<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 9:23am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 11:02am<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 6:19am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 1:22am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 2:29pm

comedybreak's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of comedybreak's badges

comedybreak's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a domestic violence counseling group. I was the only male there, and I explained that my girlfriend punches me in the face in front of my kids. Everyone started laughing. FML

by SOTS4335 / 05/16/2015 at 6:16pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I emotionally confessed to the guy I like. His English isn't that good, so he asked me to repeat it several times. He ended up telling me no. FML

by ForeverAlone / 05/09/2015 at 11:53am / Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Love

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

by ~__~ / 03/20/2015 at 5:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

by killme / 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2015 at 5:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she's afraid of my ex-wife. This is the third one in a row to use that very reason. The judge still won't accept my pleas for a restraining order. FML

by swimfaned / 01/09/2015 at 6:43am / United States / Love

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

by allgassedout / 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

by MedStudent90 / 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML

by peceout / 12/02/2014 at 3:48am / Sweden (Hallands Lan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

by jessiejaybee / 11/18/2014 at 5:41am / United States / Love

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

by omgdesdes / 11/15/2014 at 8:29pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML

by juggalomurderer59 / 11/12/2014 at 11:00am / United States / Health

Today, I was so lonely, I caught myself whispering to my food just so I had someone to talk to. FML

by Ltsdragons / 11/10/2014 at 11:07pm / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

by jennabee97 / 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

by hahaohyeahwow / 09/24/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.