colton_colton

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colton_colton

175Fucked!

colton_coltoncolton_colton
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5946
  • Number of comments : 179
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 46 posted

About colton_colton : No, the girl is not my kid, she's someone I watched at my church VBS, but i do love her :)
Feel free to message me, i usually always answer.

colton_colton's page activity

Visits<b>george_s_4</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 7:07am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 5:46am<b>Asters_Blooming</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 6:48am<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 12:09am<b>SocialAmethyst</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 10:48pm<b>CatMuffin</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 9:19am<b>coolhihi11</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 11:10pm<b>Sevichay</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 5:43am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 7:43am<b>oOMissBelleOo</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 2:17am<b>marshm610</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 10:10am<b>FuckThisLogin</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 6:39pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 6:51pm<b>TJJOE</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 10:14am<b>Ed1998</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 10:01pm<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 2:05pm<b>msangelasue</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 3:10pm<b>iislix1ii</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 9:04pm

Fucked!<b>CatMuffin</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 3:18pm<b>wafflelover</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 5:51pm<b>whybrowhy</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 6:08am<b>maddie_xo</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 3:34pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:34am<b>Bethaneey</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 5:17am<b>SourPatchTeen</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 6:12am<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 4:32pm<b>Myorafield</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 2:48pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 1:49pm<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 6:03am<b>maheen_khan</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 5:34pm<b>kitkat818</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 9:56am<b>courtneylynn2464</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 4:29am<b>rookworst</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 10:02pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 5:19am<b>NoYesNoYesNoYes</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 2:56am<b>Emberrsky69</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 4:56am

colton_colton's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

See all of colton_colton's badges

colton_colton's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized I was getting a bit chubbier than usual. I decided to go for a little jog to stay in shape. Little did I know, my neighbors that just moved in brought along with them, a fully grown German Shepherd. Not tamed. My "jog" quickly turned into a "sprint for my life". FML

by I Don't Exorcise / 05/09/2012 at 11:34pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2012 at 2:24am / Money

Today, the war against the pigeons on my veranda reached a new level. To try and get them to clear off, I gave my window pane a short, sharp knock. It broke into several shards, and not one of the totally oblivious birds moved. Pigeons 1, Me 0. FML

by Kilimanjaro / 04/03/2012 at 12:41am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML

by me / 03/14/2012 at 11:19am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

by stinkyhair / 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 1:45am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I chipped a tooth trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. FML

by yollew / 11/25/2011 at 1:27am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

by kdeeeceee / 11/05/2011 at 3:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2011 at 12:07am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

by Good sister / 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I was trying to change the batteries of my automatic room freshener. As I held it to my face to figure out where the batteries went, it started spraying on my face. FML

by spoiled22 / 10/12/2011 at 3:17am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up early to prepare for my graduation party. I'd invited the entire graduating class of 2011, and tons of people confirmed that they were going to come. Two hours after the time I'd told everyone to show up, I'm still the only one here. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2011 at 5:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous