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colton_colton

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colton_colton

171Fucked!

colton_coltoncolton_colton
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5547
  • Number of comments : 179
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 46 posted

About colton_colton : No, the girl is not my kid, she's someone I watched at my church VBS, but i do love her :)
Feel free to message me, i usually always answer.

colton_colton's page activity

Visits<b>rosieehernandez</b> - yesterday at 4:07pm<b>sky_R03</b> - yesterday at 1:46pm<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 9:50pm<b>natty11</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 10:06pm<b>914smv</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 10:20pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:33pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 9:53pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 9:16am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:25pm<b>Bruhjf</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 5:27pm<b>maliaxox</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 5:06pm<b>agk1999</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 1:56am<b>jamaarlove</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 6:59pm<b>beccarey9</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 5:16pm<b>Stephers_</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 4:56pm<b>rookworst</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 5:21am<b>Ed1998</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 2:48am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 8:54pm

Fucked!<b>jadeluv</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:34am<b>Bethaneey</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 5:17am<b>SourPatchTeen</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 6:12am<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 4:32pm<b>Myorafield</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 2:48pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 1:49pm<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 6:03am<b>maheen_khan</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 5:34pm<b>kitkat818</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 9:56am<b>courtneylynn2464</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 4:29am<b>rookworst</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 10:02pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 5:19am<b>NoYesNoYesNoYes</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 2:56am<b>Emberrsky69</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 4:56am<b>mwali02</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 7:13am<b>sillysadness</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 6:26am<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 3:05am<b>Anais457</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 11:45am

colton_colton's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

See all of colton_colton's badges

colton_colton's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84730) - you deserved it (7740)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

#20705783
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48031) - you deserved it (4481)

On 06/04/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by no booze, no boyfriend (woman) - United States

Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML

#20703790
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64544) - you deserved it (8017)

On 06/03/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by VDM (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73141) - you deserved it (4487)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

#20684142
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72441) - you deserved it (6104)

On 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

#20683669
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53275) - you deserved it (9526)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML

#20622674
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77840) - you deserved it (11212)

On 04/26/2013 at 5:17am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

#20502433
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45010) - you deserved it (3686)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

#20199046
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13244) - you deserved it (42491)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

#20155904
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45607) - you deserved it (2153)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64991) - you deserved it (3511)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

#19903690
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25769) - you deserved it (6748)

On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)

Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML

#19884925
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9522) - you deserved it (44493)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:51am - misc - by ali (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was running late and couldn't find my purse anywhere. My sleep-deprived brain came up with the brilliant idea of trying to phone it. FML

#19756229
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19871) - you deserved it (4806)

On 06/08/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by PEGASISTER FOR LIIIIIIIIFFFFFEEEEE!!!!! (woman) - Mexico



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