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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5266
  • Number of comments : 175
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 45 posted

About colton_colton : No, the girl is not my kid, she's someone I watched at my church VBS, but i do love her :)

colton_colton's page activity

Visits<b>Replyka</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 8:24am<b>imahobbitlol</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 1:32am<b>XxMuFaSaxX</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 8:49am<b>lexred</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 10:57am<b>lexid17</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 8:49am<b>nataliewby</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 5:31pm<b>PDSot</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 9:14pm<b>derangedplanet</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 11:14am<b>emmarawr17</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 7:43am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 11:19pm<b>terryaly</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 11:07pm<b>intimate_couple</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 1:28pm<b>agk1999</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 1:25pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 8:35am<b>kylie31</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 2:25am<b>andits</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 11:11pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 8:09pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 7:45pm

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 5:19am<b>NoYesNoYesNoYes</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 2:56am<b>Emberrsky69</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 4:56am<b>mwali02</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 7:13am<b>sillysadness</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 6:26am<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 3:05am<b>Anais457</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 11:45am<b>alyssa_3301</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 7:36am<b>dogshorsescats</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 9:09am<b>ScottLucky</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 6:15am<b>Space_Teddy</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 11:36am<b>Umbraelux</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 10:49am<b>skyblueprincess</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 4:03am<b>Stephers_</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 9:47am<b>nicoleq890</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 4:58am<b>devi_916</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 9:05pm<b>idkwhoiam15</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 8:13pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 7:23pm

colton_colton's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.


You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

See all of colton_colton's badges

colton_colton's favorite FMLs

Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

Today, someone thought it would be funny to steal the precious stuffed bear I've had since childhood and leave a ransom note in its place. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42377) - you deserved it (5356)

On 01/17/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML


I agree, your life sucks (71805) - you deserved it (4441)

On 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Fire sucks. (man) - United States

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27402) - you deserved it (56451)

On 12/29/2013 at 2:01am - kids - by ConfusedDad - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49897) - you deserved it (4353)

On 12/21/2013 at 1:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I fell asleep at my bus stop following a long day at work. I woke up to a homeless man giggling after he had clipped dozens of clothespins to my clothes, shoes, and hair in my sleep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38732) - you deserved it (7620)

On 11/20/2013 at 7:12pm - misc - by 43_clothespins_later (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (93154) - you deserved it (6784)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, I broke my tooth nearly in half. On a completely unrelated note, the Jew's Harp is my new least-favorite instrument. FML

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51616) - you deserved it (5875)

On 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by lovehurts - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML


I agree, your life sucks (80525) - you deserved it (4532)

On 08/19/2013 at 9:06am - love - by Love stinks (man) - United States

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, my 11-year-old daughter heard the quote, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." She decided to test this out by letting our new puppy out of the front door. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53373) - you deserved it (4660)

On 07/15/2013 at 8:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54580) - you deserved it (6888)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52167) - you deserved it (4956)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States

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