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colton_colton

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colton_colton

90Fucked!

colton_coltoncolton_colton
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3791
  • Number of comments : 168
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 43 posted

About colton_colton : No, the girl is not my kid, she's someone I watched at my church VBS, but i do love her :)

colton_colton's page activity

Visits<b>skye147</b> - 31 minutes ago<b>random_funnygirl</b> - 6 hours ago<b>kikoma</b> - 6 hours ago<b>lil_jimmy</b> - 7 hours ago<b>lola4455</b> - 24 hours ago<b>bmx5798</b> - yesterday at 4:05am<b>GrimReefer66</b> - yesterday at 11:38am<b>vonvaski</b> - yesterday at 11:24am<b>ManUtdforlife</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 9:27am<b>TypicalDaniela</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 6:59am<b>prajju99</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 5:15am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 3:17am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 2:39am<b>thee_most_dope</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 1:39am<b>Steffi3</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 1:37am<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 1:06am<b>pacelily</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 1:06am<b>ToxicLover29</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 11:48pm

Fucked!<b>skye147</b> - just now<b>random_funnygirl</b> - just now<b>vonvaski</b> - yesterday at 5:24pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 8:39am<b>Loveme_Hateme16</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 1:52am<b>sparkles8595</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 1:35am<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 1:01am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 9:20pm<b>seetei</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 8:47pm<b>youngmuller1</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 7:53am<b>StrangeNigga</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 4:43am<b>horrorbabe1408</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 6:57am<b>FaguIous</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 2:54pm<b>kikoma</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:47pm<b>latinablanca</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 7:32pm<b>Epickitty58</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 1:55am<b>mandygrl25</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:42pm<b>kawaii_orange_</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:22am

colton_colton's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

See all of colton_colton's badges

colton_colton's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87159) - you deserved it (6215)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, I broke my tooth nearly in half. On a completely unrelated note, the Jew's Harp is my new least-favorite instrument. FML

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

#20920034
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49752) - you deserved it (5661)

On 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by lovehurts - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML

#20844435
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76049) - you deserved it (4235)

On 08/19/2013 at 9:06am - love - by Love stinks (man) - United States

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, my 11-year-old daughter heard the quote, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." She decided to test this out by letting our new puppy out of the front door. FML

#20784969
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50014) - you deserved it (4385)

On 07/15/2013 at 8:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

#20783255
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52658) - you deserved it (6656)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

#20749556
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49381) - you deserved it (4668)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81106) - you deserved it (7400)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

#20705783
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46457) - you deserved it (4350)

On 06/04/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by no booze, no boyfriend (woman) - United States

Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML

#20703790
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61031) - you deserved it (7642)

On 06/03/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by VDM (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69653) - you deserved it (4261)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

#20684142
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67559) - you deserved it (5656)

On 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

#20683669
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51437) - you deserved it (9254)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML

#20622674
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73269) - you deserved it (10108)

On 04/26/2013 at 5:17am - love - by Anonymous -



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