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colton_colton

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colton_colton

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colton_coltoncolton_colton
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3253
  • Number of comments : 163
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 41 posted

About colton_colton : No, the girl is not my kid, she's someone I watched at my church VBS, but i do love her :)

colton_colton's page activity

Visits<b>fatiezzhm</b> - 17 hours ago<b>Paws_Cat</b> - yesterday at 12:13am<b>jesterinperil</b> - yesterday at 12:10am<b>DejaRenee</b> - yesterday at 9:32pm<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - yesterday at 9:32pm<b>gracehi</b> - yesterday at 8:10pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - yesterday at 6:30pm<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 11:52pm<b>roo112</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 4:00pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 6:03pm<b>lola4455</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:35pm<b>kellymonster</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:22pm<b>hallieee</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 12:45am<b>unlucky_lucy</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 12:44am<b>Scrambled</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:46pm<b>Rstein14</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:16pm<b>JoeC1993</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 5:12pm<b>StraightKing</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:31am

Liked!<b>DejaRenee</b> - yesterday at 3:32am<b>hallieee</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 6:46am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 5:09am<b>angelofmusic1895</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 6:18am<b>tempermental</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 11:15pm<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 2:09pm<b>roosters</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 1:21pm<b>kirbs19</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 7:54am<b>connormartaus</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 2:28am<b>kitcat517</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 5:35pm<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 6:10am<b>Zacky_Chan</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 6:13am<b>viaaaaaa</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 3:17pm<b>serslybro</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 8:12am<b>HighasaCloud</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 4:03am<b>Chelserser</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 12:30am<b>lilola97</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 12:25am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 10:46pm

colton_colton's FML badges

Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of colton_colton's badges

colton_colton's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

#21076929
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41564) - you deserved it (4484)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm - work - by Biologyfacepalm (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

#21068594
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41991) - you deserved it (3942)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I bought a new bra and panties and modeled them for my boyfriend. I thought he liked them, until mid-way through feeling me up, he decided he'd rather give me a massive wedgie. FML

#21068474
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48353) - you deserved it (7503)

On 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by coppervains (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my mom made me go shopping with her. It was freezing out, but she didn't wear a coat, boasting that she doesn't feel the chill like I do. By the time we drove home she was whining about freezing to death, and now I'm stuck in a house whose heating is set to "inferno". FML

#21035197
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39501) - you deserved it (3889)

On 01/21/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, at work, a kid rushed into the bathroom to vomit. Understandable, except he threw up into the sinks. Sinks plural, whose drain holes are so small that only liquid can really pass through. Guess who had to clean up vomit chunks. FML

#21031848
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42694) - you deserved it (3433)

On 01/18/2014 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

Today, someone thought it would be funny to steal the precious stuffed bear I've had since childhood and leave a ransom note in its place. FML

#21031005
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40478) - you deserved it (5172)

On 01/17/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML

#21030359
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67744) - you deserved it (4149)

On 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Fire sucks. (man) - United States

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

#21008990
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25952) - you deserved it (53468)

On 12/29/2013 at 2:01am - kids - by ConfusedDad - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML

#20999827
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46619) - you deserved it (4064)

On 12/21/2013 at 1:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I fell asleep at my bus stop following a long day at work. I woke up to a homeless man giggling after he had clipped dozens of clothespins to my clothes, shoes, and hair in my sleep. FML

#20964867
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37181) - you deserved it (7408)

On 11/20/2013 at 7:12pm - misc - by 43_clothespins_later (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86950) - you deserved it (6204)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)



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