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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5272
  • Number of comments : 175
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 45 posted

About colton_colton : No, the girl is not my kid, she's someone I watched at my church VBS, but i do love her :)

colton_colton's page activity

Visits<b>Replyka</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 8:24am<b>imahobbitlol</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 1:32am<b>XxMuFaSaxX</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 8:49am<b>lexred</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 10:57am<b>lexid17</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 8:49am<b>nataliewby</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 5:31pm<b>PDSot</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 9:14pm<b>derangedplanet</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 11:14am<b>emmarawr17</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 7:43am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 11:19pm<b>terryaly</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 11:07pm<b>intimate_couple</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 1:28pm<b>agk1999</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 1:25pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 8:35am<b>kylie31</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 2:25am<b>andits</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 11:11pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 8:09pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 7:45pm

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 5:19am<b>NoYesNoYesNoYes</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 2:56am<b>Emberrsky69</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 4:56am<b>mwali02</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 7:13am<b>sillysadness</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 6:26am<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 3:05am<b>Anais457</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 11:45am<b>alyssa_3301</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 7:36am<b>dogshorsescats</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 9:09am<b>ScottLucky</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 6:15am<b>Space_Teddy</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 11:36am<b>Umbraelux</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 10:49am<b>skyblueprincess</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 4:03am<b>Stephers_</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 9:47am<b>nicoleq890</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 4:58am<b>devi_916</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 9:05pm<b>idkwhoiam15</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 8:13pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 7:23pm

colton_colton's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.


You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

See all of colton_colton's badges

colton_colton's favorite FMLs

Today, I used the self-checkout for the first time. I didn't see a slot for bills, so I tried to put them in the coin slot for a solid three minutes. There was a huge line behind me, silently judging. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38022) - you deserved it (27207)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:29am - money - by notacashier - United States (New York)

Today, my sister was upset because she felt like no one liked her. Without thinking, I replied, "It's okay. If I acted like you, people would probably hate me, too." This sounded sympathetic in my head. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36443) - you deserved it (22998)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:57pm - misc - by wiifantcso (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46595) - you deserved it (6653)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a coworker asked me why this week's report was not uploaded to the server. I've been writing these reports once a week for a year and they take a whole day to write. Upload them to what server? FML


I agree, your life sucks (40090) - you deserved it (6030)

On 06/04/2014 at 9:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58045) - you deserved it (5773)

On 05/16/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by fuck florida (man) - United States (California)

Today, I wanted to prove to my dad that I can drive, so that he'd let me use his car in future. Let's just say I helped him remove the fence that he was planning to repair. FML


Today, 30 minutes after finishing a great date with a great girl, she texted me and said, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML


I agree, your life sucks (45537) - you deserved it (5918)

On 04/13/2014 at 4:33pm - love - by lax22 - United States (California)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44456) - you deserved it (4716)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm - work - by Biologyfacepalm (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44796) - you deserved it (4189)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I bought a new bra and panties and modeled them for my boyfriend. I thought he liked them, until mid-way through feeling me up, he decided he'd rather give me a massive wedgie. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51437) - you deserved it (7898)

On 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by coppervains (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my mom made me go shopping with her. It was freezing out, but she didn't wear a coat, boasting that she doesn't feel the chill like I do. By the time we drove home she was whining about freezing to death, and now I'm stuck in a house whose heating is set to "inferno". FML


I agree, your life sucks (41247) - you deserved it (4020)

On 01/21/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, at work, a kid rushed into the bathroom to vomit. Understandable, except he threw up into the sinks. Sinks plural, whose drain holes are so small that only liquid can really pass through. Guess who had to clean up vomit chunks. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45561) - you deserved it (3670)

On 01/18/2014 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

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  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

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