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  • Number of visits : 7964
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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coldplaylive2003's page activity

Visits<b>Helldemon</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 12:00pm<b>srhearrell</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 12:38pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:02pm<b>Airshock22</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 2:37pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 2:58pm<b>lovelyvampire</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:31am<b>_Krypto_</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 8:58am<b>cmonger</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 11:07pm<b>Alina_Eduardovna</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 9:18pm<b>The9thIndividual</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 6:48pm<b>twixislofe</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:06pm<b>billionair11</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 7:59pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 1:15pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 2:25am<b>sarah1024</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 12:15pm<b>siddp</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:10pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 8:52pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 5:07pm

Fucked!<b>Helldemon</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 6:00pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:58pm<b>lovelyvampire</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 6:31am

coldplaylive2003's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

coldplaylive2003's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of eight years explained to me that the Egyptian pyramids were built by aliens from Mars. I have a B.S. in Biology and an M.S. in Anthropology, and I am working on my Ph.D. She thinks I'm an irrational idiot for telling her she is wrong. FML

by published_anthropologist / 07/23/2009 at 2:13am / United States / Work

Today, my coworkers decided to play a game of "Who Can Piss the Boss Off the Most". I opted not to play, but I still won. FML

by PokeTheBear / 07/22/2009 at 5:09pm / Canada / Work

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2009 at 1:26am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I took home my grandpa's ashes. I then went out with my grandma, leaving my 5-year-old at home with my 12-year-old. When I got home, my beaming 5-year-old opened the door, covered in white powder. My grandmother asked where all the powder had come from. She pointed to the empty ashbox. FML

by fcnk / 06/17/2009 at 10:40pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, it was my high school graduation. Because our school colors were red, black and white, and our principal looked somewhat like Hitler, the senior class prank was to salute him when he finished his speech. I was the only one. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2009 at 12:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

by apav / 06/11/2009 at 7:52am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 9:48am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

by nomorebeard / 03/25/2009 at 10:13am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my teacher writes descriptions next to people's names on the register to remind him who people were. By mistake the descriptions appeared on the computer projector. Next to my name it said "Tubby". FML

by atterz123 / 02/12/2009 at 8:37am / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML

by waitingformyfoodstamps / 01/24/2009 at 5:50am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML

by Behemoth2 / 12/14/2008 at 12:15am / Transportation