Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

coldplaychick

Offline (the 08/21/2014 at 5:22am) | Search for a member

coldplaychick

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 April 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 573
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About coldplaychick : Yes, I know i'm a ginger...but I promise I do have a soul!! :)))
I am interested in pretty much anything so message me if you wanna talk!

coldplaychick's page activity

Visits<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 8:36pm<b>homiwan</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 12:29am<b>lannisters</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:56pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 9:46am<b>PoppyBear45</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 7:29pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 12:37am<b>Vhedehem</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 6:18pm<b>Wrex</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 8:57am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 1:54am<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:39am<b>swarm20</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 11:26pm<b>samuelee</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 10:00pm<b>jgwyh</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 9:08am<b>hayleybaaby</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 10:42pm<b>PippiLee123</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 9:16am<b>Portuguese94</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:38am<b>A07</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:12am

Liked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 2:37am

coldplaychick's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of coldplaychick's badges

coldplaychick's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft,hen all of a sudden, I rememberd I was supposd to be at a wedding. I was 25 minute late to my own wedding. mega FML

#20880446
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22281) - you deserved it (89697)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today... after a long and stressful day... I startd fooling around with mah boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event... I found out that we couldn't... cuz he'd usd all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

#20842045
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52351) - you deserved it (6845)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by frustrated - Ireland (Kerry)

Today, ma mum pickd up a bunc of tissues tat were scatterd around ma room. Se examind tem, ten askd me to stop wasting er potential grandcildren. FML

#20825949
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49610) - you deserved it (40541)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today , I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note , with my number on it , an the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding , I saw her , got up , an passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. real FML

#20825416
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54413) - you deserved it (7131)

On 08/07/2013 at 11:46am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party 4 a bunc of eigt year olds. One of tem decided it'd be funny to ave a contest to see wo could make te most bubble wit tere farts. It led to tree kids sitting temselve in te pool, and me aving te dubiou onor of cleaning it up. fat FML

#20823903
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57806) - you deserved it (4399)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm - kids - by benjo - United States

Today, my boyfriend went down on me 4 the first time . When I didn't get off right away, he askedhat he was doing wrong . I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well . His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

#20809292
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61535) - you deserved it (9139)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, Cuz I Refusd To Shave Off What My Wife Calls My "pedo 'stache", She Paintd "Free Candy" On The Side Of My Van. Fat FML

#20807393
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40950) - you deserved it (27615)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my pone went off, reminding me to take my birt control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. Te ringtone ad been canged to my boyfriend singing "It's birt control time, birt control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56353) - you deserved it (9340)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the frst time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65194) - you deserved it (6603)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today... after I got turned down fir yet another job... dad glanced up at me and casually remarked that porn is alway a stable market. FML

#20776199
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56196) - you deserved it (5978)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by fucked up dad (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

TODAY, AS PART OF MY VETERINARY DEGREE, I HAD TO DEMONSTRATE HOW TO JERK OFF A DOG IN FRONT OF MY ENTIRE CLASS. AFTERWARDS, THE LECTURER SAID THAT I HAVE THE 'MAGIC TOUCH'. FML

#20775868
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59339) - you deserved it (6965)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today , my 13-yaar-old daughtar and I want to a tropical thamad rastaurant!! Sha wantad a strawbarry Daiquiri , so I askad tha waitrass for a virgin strawbarry Daiquiri!! My daughtar than said , "But dad , I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100065) - you deserved it (11688)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

I walked to work. I later discovered that mah husband had parked mah car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow mah own car. FML

#20775203
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49670) - you deserved it (5146)

On 07/10/2013 at 11:04pm - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I got a message from mah brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead fir two years . FML

#20773595
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76272) - you deserved it (3863)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down looool in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there r children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. fat FML

#20772281
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52355) - you deserved it (21159)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: