Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cocainewhore

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

cocainewhore

47Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 June 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10878
  • Number of comments : 170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About cocainewhore : Heavy fucking metal.

cocainewhore's page activity

Visits<b>BstMode</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 11:19pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:20pm<b>swimthenread27</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 8:04pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 1:28pm<b>Taymoo1515</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 8:41am<b>H3LL_K1D</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 2:30am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 4:17pm<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 2:46pm<b>TinyTinkerer</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 8:43pm<b>apcsox</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 11:07pm<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 9:12pm<b>hasooon</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 8:20pm<b>Mons</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 12:42am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 5:35pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 1:01pm<b>terryaly</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 9:14am<b>samrompain</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 1:42am<b>truckers_wife</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 10:22pm

Fucked!<b>apcsox</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 5:07am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 3:59am<b>Mons</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 3:14am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 9:15pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 4:32pm<b>lexred</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 6:59pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 6:48pm<b>Noob64</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 1:46pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 7:33am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 5:55am<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 1:00am<b>Coachjoost79</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 12:16am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 3:26pm<b>A07</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 4:53pm<b>terryaly</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 2:50am<b>Holijust</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 10:48pm<b>BstMode</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 12:28am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 3:08am

cocainewhore's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of cocainewhore's badges

cocainewhore's favorite FMLs

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man, and that my ass was grounds for discussion." FML

#21222536
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43720) - you deserved it (4873)

On 07/27/2014 at 10:54pm - misc - by tlm84 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got the, "It's not you, it's me" speech for the third breakup in a row. I'm beginning to think that they may not be entirely telling me the truth. FML

#21217897
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44427) - you deserved it (7153)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:09am - love - by swiggityswooty - United States (California)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38710) - you deserved it (12917)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44197) - you deserved it (7409)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML

#21216576
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42036) - you deserved it (5641)

On 07/21/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML

#21215195
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57264) - you deserved it (9190)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:59pm - love - by I Feel Horrible - United States (California)

Today, I was using a public restroom. After about a minute of me being in there, a little girl came in and started pounding on the door, screaming that she had to go. My pregnancy hormones are so bad that I almost burst into tears. FML

#21213357
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38707) - you deserved it (17211)

On 07/18/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by LissaMccracken (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a face time. Busted. FML

#21208909
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33777) - you deserved it (52030)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Ob3nie - United States (California)

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44661) - you deserved it (6560)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65523) - you deserved it (8425)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

#21205559
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44182) - you deserved it (3835)

On 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm - misc - by look how totally not racist I am! - United States (California)

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

#21198840
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60583) - you deserved it (12924)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa

Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML

#21198731
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44878) - you deserved it (7248)

On 07/04/2014 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML

#21195314
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39955) - you deserved it (3612)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: