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cocainewhore

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cocainewhore

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6737
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About cocainewhore : Heavy fucking metal.

cocainewhore's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - yesterday at 6:43pm<b>yoimtrollin</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 12:08pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:38pm<b>KobeLebroJordan</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 2:44pm<b>fullalove</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 12:27pm<b>kittykat_bw13</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 5:53pm<b>laxlover87</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 4:27pm<b>Devindelon</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:24pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 1:01am<b>DeathMetalSlam</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 7:34pm<b>JOEBOBARNOLD</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 5:33pm<b>Ahzukira</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 6:15pm<b>Mc_Knapkins</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 2:42am<b>paravoz</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 2:18am<b>benjamn</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 9:05pm<b>VitalDistance</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 9:22am<b>rockaroths</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 9:55am<b>Rawrshi</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 1:40am

Fucked!<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 1:53am<b>shouldntbehere</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 2:34pm<b>xpolymer</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 7:48pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 12:51am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:07pm<b>RA91</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:42pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:30am<b>zsaddayz</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 7:44pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 9:09pm

cocainewhore's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of cocainewhore's badges

cocainewhore's favorite FMLs

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

#21127339
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41144) - you deserved it (5187)

On 04/30/2014 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

#21126864
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44228) - you deserved it (5780)

On 04/30/2014 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend, and I cheekily told him about something I'd read that's supposed to feel really good during sex. I then heard his sister sarcastically say, "Yeah, that does feel pretty good". Apparently he'd had me on speaker the whole time. FML

#21126318
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46073) - you deserved it (8379)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, an old guy phoned the cops on my daughter because she was drawing with chalk on the sidewalk. Apparently, he thinks it's vandalism. FML

#21125786
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45873) - you deserved it (3572)

On 04/28/2014 at 10:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am not a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML

#21122879
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32736) - you deserved it (12814)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

Today, I was at the sandwich shop I work in. A customer came in and requested an assorted sub. As I finished putting on the sauces, I looked up to see the customer's face set in horror. Apparently I didn't notice that I licked my fingers clean after getting some mayonnaise on them. FML

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML

#21119490
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49376) - you deserved it (13059)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML

#21118108
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45837) - you deserved it (8954)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

#21115090
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50337) - you deserved it (4241)

On 04/16/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by exasperated (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

#21113687
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58400) - you deserved it (9007)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54347) - you deserved it (4926)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

#21112406
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41709) - you deserved it (6804)

On 04/13/2014 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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