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cnewton84

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cnewton84

16Fucked!

cnewton84
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 May 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1577
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About cnewton84 : 17, I like pizza

cnewton84's page activity

Visits<b>allred1997</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 2:16am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 2:28am<b>skye147</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 1:23am<b>taranoelr</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:26pm<b>melons</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 8:34am<b>dpKordes</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 2:58am<b>nicolemf4</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 11:13pm<b>ladycryptic</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 4:30pm<b>jgwyh</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 11:46pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 9:55pm<b>Apparentlyacunt</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 6:41pm<b>tiffanyxiao06</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 6:36pm<b>AmeliaTxxx</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 5:56pm<b>whoopydoodah</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 4:46pm<b>intimate_couple</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 2:24pm<b>paperbag77</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 1:02pm<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 10:32am<b>Bloodknight</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 8:16am

Fucked!<b>brittney242</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 9:36am<b>ladycryptic</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 3:03am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 2:42am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 2:06am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 1:41am<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 9:30am<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 6:45pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 2:25pm<b>skye147</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 1:45pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 5:10am<b>ILikeKoalas</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 4:22am<b>murphyb765</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 4:02am<b>carebear1228</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:55pm<b>Googleimages</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:54pm<b>my3words</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 12:26pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 12:11pm

cnewton84's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of cnewton84's badges

cnewton84's favorite FMLs

Today, I was forced to get up in front of ten swim teams, including my own, and a hundred spectators to swim 100 yards with an obvious boner sticking out of my suit. FML

#21523419
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15084) - you deserved it (2550)

On 02/06/2016 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by notagoodtime - United States (California)

Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

#21522558
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20858) - you deserved it (1972)

On 02/03/2016 at 9:04pm - kids - by Spooderman (woman) - United States

Today, I was taking a dump at work. I had my two-way radio attached to the back of my belt. When I stood up and pulled my pants up, I managed to send the antenna straight up my butt. FML

#21520186
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19846) - you deserved it (4344)

On 01/27/2016 at 7:29pm - misc - by poopsicle (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML

#21517322
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19562) - you deserved it (3166)

On 01/20/2016 at 9:27am - kids - by lambeaster (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was out with my brother and his group of very cute friends at a Cheesecake Factory. When the server came to take our orders, she asked me what kind of sauce I liked. Like a complete fuckwit, I blurted, "I like creamy white stuff." The guy across from me choked on his water. FML

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

#21512451
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28376) - you deserved it (3302)

On 01/07/2016 at 7:00am - intimacy - by anne (woman) - Germany

Today, I found out my ex started a Tumblr where she posts one photo a day. Each photo being a pic I texted her over the course of our relationship. My office, the bars I like to go to, favorite restaurants, my mom's place, my place, my penis, etc. FML

#21511030
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21492) - you deserved it (3848)

On 01/03/2016 at 3:02pm - intimacy - by ywouldudomelikethat (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was babysitting. As I went to leave the bathroom, someone grabbed the knob and pulled the door shut. I figured it was one of the kids and told them to knock it off. A second later, the grip let off. There was no one there and the kids were still asleep. I don't know what to think. FML

#21508063
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23940) - you deserved it (1643)

On 12/26/2015 at 11:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my dad why the Wi-fi was down. He just replied, "Why? Horno can't get no more porno?" No, "Horno" has an assignment. WTF? FML

#21499340
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21366) - you deserved it (2127)

On 12/02/2015 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by horno (man) - United States (California)

Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML

#21496296
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25798) - you deserved it (2671)

On 11/24/2015 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Zug)

Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML

#21491812
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26139) - you deserved it (3586)

On 11/12/2015 at 7:00pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I gave a group presentation. Because I didn't know the last names of my group members, I'd put fake ones in, intending to replace them later. I forgot to change them and I ended up giving a presentation alongside a very angry Greg Penishead and Josh Acne. FML

#21491660
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13288) - you deserved it (27246)

On 11/12/2015 at 11:55am - misc - by friendless1004 - United States (California)

Today, my father, who is not familiar with keyboards, had me register his new email account for him at the public library. His username choice? "Wang dang sweet poon tang". People heard. FML

#21488619
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20853) - you deserved it (1856)

On 11/05/2015 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry Potter porn in the living room. FML

#21482519
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28214) - you deserved it (3448)

On 10/21/2015 at 8:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, two women came into my place of work, complaining loudly that they couldn't afford a £3 course fee because they didn't have any money to spend on themselves. They were holding large Starbucks coffees. FML

#21482148
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21842) - you deserved it (1361)

On 10/20/2015 at 9:39am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom



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