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cnewton84

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cnewton84

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 May 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1198
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About cnewton84 : 17, I like pizza

cnewton84's page activity

Visits<b>91hayek</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 3:41am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 6:16pm<b>EmmaRey</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 12:56pm<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 10:24pm<b>Jamilal16</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 3:30pm<b>cubby___0o</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 3:29pm<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:21pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 1:03pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 3:57am<b>balboa_2</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 1:35am<b>itslaelae</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 8:40pm<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:17am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 8:37am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 2:04am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 10:21am<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 2:56pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 9:17am<b>srinathmatti</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 7:49am

Fucked!<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 9:30am<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 6:45pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 2:25pm<b>skye147</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 1:45pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 5:10am<b>ILikeKoalas</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 4:22am<b>murphyb765</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 4:02am<b>carebear1228</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:55pm<b>Googleimages</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:54pm<b>my3words</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 12:26pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 12:11pm

cnewton84's FML badges

Perfectionist

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I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of cnewton84's badges

cnewton84's favorite FMLs

Today, at my sister's wedding, I got my 15 month old son to 'sign' the big guest book. I gave him a pen and was hoping for a cute little squiggle or something. But no, he managed to draw something that looked uncannily like a big swastika. FML

#21459659
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12348) - you deserved it (11924)

On 08/23/2015 at 12:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML

#21459438
159 comments

Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML

#21457219
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21209) - you deserved it (1655)

On 08/17/2015 at 3:56pm - misc - by hbt51 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a customer approached me, smiling and asked what kind of cheese was in our cheddar cheese balls. Thinking he was joking, I laughed and said "swiss." He ordered, found they were indeed cheddar cheese, and reported me. FML

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28717) - you deserved it (3550)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I told my son about wet dreams, what they are and how they are normal. Afterwards, he exclaimed, "It's kinda like when I beat off, except I'm asleep! Awesome!" FML

#21451089
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22969) - you deserved it (3198)

On 08/02/2015 at 10:57pm - kids - by BrandonDrapeau - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I waited 45 minutes at the Apple Store for my grandpa to very loudly ask why PornHub wasn't loading on his computer. FML

#21448024
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26254) - you deserved it (1885)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML

#21443327
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29283) - you deserved it (4517)

On 07/18/2015 at 1:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

#21443029
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23562) - you deserved it (3710)

On 07/17/2015 at 1:14pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, a week after my miscarriage, my little sister thought it appropriate to wrap her belt around her neck and scream, "Hey look, it's your baby!" FML

#21438976
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39353) - you deserved it (2167)

On 07/09/2015 at 10:38am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

 Today, I had to explain to my little brother yet again that no, socks don't count as toilet paper. FML

#21426539
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26342) - you deserved it (1914)

On 06/15/2015 at 3:11pm - kids - by maggieyokoi -

Today, a customer yelled, "I'll bash your fuckin' face in, cunt" at me at 9:30am because we don't serve the lunch menu at breakfast time. Yes, the 15-year-old girl in high school is responsible for McDonald's entire menu. FML

#21424396
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29280) - you deserved it (1930)

On 06/11/2015 at 9:44am - work - by McFuckYouTooCunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my neighbor came over to borrow my lawnmower. As I have previously loaned it to him and he returned it broken, I refused. He then promptly ate the strawberries off my daughter's small strawberry plant and stormed off. FML

#21424116
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25594) - you deserved it (1603)

On 06/10/2015 at 8:13pm - misc - by its still broken (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML

#21420621
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30569) - you deserved it (3925)

On 06/04/2015 at 8:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, during a driving lesson, I stopped behind a taxi, and got more and more annoyed when the traffic wouldn't move. A few minutes later, my instructor couldn't hold his laughter any more and pointed out I'd somehow zoned out and entered a taxi rank. FML

#21414941
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24667) - you deserved it (6413)

On 05/24/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by kalvin (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)



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