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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 May 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1308
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About cnewton84 : 17, I like pizza

cnewton84's page activity

Visits<b>violentsneezes</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 12:23am<b>0dd80d</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 6:11am<b>CarmenCnh</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 5:45am<b>91hayek</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 3:41am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 6:16pm<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 10:24pm<b>Jamilal16</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 3:30pm<b>cubby___0o</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 3:29pm<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:21pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 1:03pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 3:57am<b>balboa_2</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 1:35am<b>itslaelae</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 8:40pm<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:17am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 8:37am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 2:04am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 10:21am<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 2:56pm

Fucked!<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 9:30am<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 6:45pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 2:25pm<b>skye147</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 1:45pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 5:10am<b>ILikeKoalas</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 4:22am<b>murphyb765</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 4:02am<b>carebear1228</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:55pm<b>Googleimages</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:54pm<b>my3words</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 12:26pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 12:11pm

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cnewton84's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to my grandma. My grandpa is half-deaf, which I guess explains how he didn't hear me. I heard him though, jerking off and muttering the most disgusting sexual things about "Tara." I'm Tara. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21398) - you deserved it (1171)

On 10/07/2015 at 11:02am - intimacy - by T-Bear (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20350) - you deserved it (10207)

On 10/03/2015 at 3:00am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was sitting outside in a pair of shorts. After about 15 minutes of getting weird looks from people, I realized my cock was sticking out of a hole that wasn't in my shorts when I put them on. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20231) - you deserved it (4554)

On 10/02/2015 at 10:22am - misc - by soulaar - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, my "friends" pulled an elaborate prank on me. First, they changed my ringtone to a recording of someone saying "Allahu Akbar" on repeat. Then, they called me as we had a moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 victims. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31037) - you deserved it (2706)

On 09/11/2015 at 9:50am - misc - by EverettA - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came to work with a huge hangover after a night out. I work as a marching band director, and guess who I had to conduct a sectional with? That's right, percussion. My head still hasn't stopped throbbing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11581) - you deserved it (25710)

On 09/04/2015 at 9:25pm - work - by oww - United States (Michigan)

Today, at my sister's wedding, I got my 15 month old son to 'sign' the big guest book. I gave him a pen and was hoping for a cute little squiggle or something. But no, he managed to draw something that looked uncannily like a big swastika. FML


I agree, your life sucks (13929) - you deserved it (12676)

On 08/23/2015 at 12:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML


Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21871) - you deserved it (1774)

On 08/17/2015 at 3:56pm - misc - by hbt51 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a customer approached me, smiling and asked what kind of cheese was in our cheddar cheese balls. Thinking he was joking, I laughed and said "swiss." He ordered, found they were indeed cheddar cheese, and reported me. FML

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30866) - you deserved it (4239)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I told my son about wet dreams, what they are and how they are normal. Afterwards, he exclaimed, "It's kinda like when I beat off, except I'm asleep! Awesome!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (23323) - you deserved it (3260)

On 08/02/2015 at 10:57pm - kids - by BrandonDrapeau - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I waited 45 minutes at the Apple Store for my grandpa to very loudly ask why PornHub wasn't loading on his computer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26812) - you deserved it (2016)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML


I agree, your life sucks (30892) - you deserved it (5148)

On 07/18/2015 at 1:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24213) - you deserved it (3956)

On 07/17/2015 at 1:14pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

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  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

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