cmchewy

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Offline (the 08/20/2014 at 1:36am)

cmchewy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 April 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1735
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About cmchewy : Chill :] Sometimes I just troll lol

cmchewy's page activity

Visits<b>JjfireballZ</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 11:25am<b>AviatOfficial</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 4:51pm<b>IspSG</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 9:58am<b>Crusher74</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 7:04am<b>rjberger1853</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:36pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 10:06pm<b>iksmuh</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 8:28am<b>Davids9199</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 7:14pm<b>capslockisgood</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 11:24pm<b>jimmy_poison</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 5:51pm<b>Pwib</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 2:12am<b>Black_Knight80</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 12:04am<b>terryaly</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 4:30am<b>rosiexoxo12</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 11:07pm<b>Colorguardlife_t</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:30pm<b>SwimmingBassist</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 10:43am<b>flupsht</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 8:57pm<b>dre82</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 7:12pm

cmchewy's FML badges

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cmchewy's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML

by ;_;" / 09/27/2013 at 5:33pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Work

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2013 at 2:06pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML

by psychic parents, how do they work? :( / 07/31/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML

by Erica / 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

by The fuck, junior? / 07/05/2013 at 6:45pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

by lsababy / 06/11/2013 at 2:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

by notyourmom / 06/11/2013 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 10:29am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm / United Kingdom (Bromley) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy