cmayer

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Offline (the 08/13/2014 at 8:39am)

cmayer

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6399
  • Number of comments : 184
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About cmayer : .

cmayer's page activity

Visits<b>Sj1147</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 9:16am<b>Saxicolous</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 3:52pm<b>sjb_2015</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 6:29pm<b>tismael</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 2:28pm<b>uz101</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 5:40pm<b>tweak2011</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 11:46am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 6:17am<b>mondesno</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 9:18am<b>george_s_4</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 11:46am<b>heroqucas</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 5:47am<b>TheBlackMagister</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 11:15pm<b>10220706</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 6:26am<b>Skarlun</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 9:51pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 7:41pm<b>ILOLAtYourLife19</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 2:46pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 3:08pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 6:58pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 5:45pm

Fucked!<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 6:16am

cmayer's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of cmayer's badges

cmayer's favorite FMLs

Today, I was life guarding at a community pool and noticed a toddler go under water. I quickly jumped in and suddenly got a charlie horse which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML

by Username / 08/31/2010 at 8:35pm / Kids

Today, while I was on a date, I noticed my ex-boyfriend in the restaurant, and he looked sad. So I walked over to see him and jokingly said, "You look like your mom died or something!" She had. FML

by perfectlybrokenx / 08/24/2010 at 12:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

by emilygreeny / 06/18/2010 at 1:42am / United States / Health

Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

by Username / 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm / Love

Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML

by boner / 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out what I look like drunk and naked while swinging a tennis racket thanks to a picture message forwarded to just about everyone I know and some I don't. Among the numbers the text was sent to was a familiar one. My mom's. FML

by ObeseCaveDweller / 01/16/2010 at 2:26am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML

by meeranda / 01/01/2010 at 12:07am / Intimacy

Today, I decided to take a nap while listening to my iPod, on the lowest volume possible. My girlfriend woke me up by turning the volume all the way up. I still can't hear out of both ears. FML

by SpaceAstronaut / 12/28/2009 at 4:42pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML

by dumbdad / 12/28/2009 at 2:30am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized build-a-bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear "we should break up" instead. FML

by samgonzalessb / 12/14/2009 at 12:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at 4am, I remembered that I had not studied for my Spanish exam. I panicked, jumped out of bed, and frantically began searching for my notebook. It wasn't until I destroyed my desk and woke up my roommate that I realized that I'm not enrolled in Spanish this semester. It was a nightmare. FML

by Stressmess / 11/30/2009 at 7:19pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, I encountered one of my professors from college. Back when I was in his game theory class, he publicly criticized me for falling asleep and not paying attention, to which I retaliated by acing all of his exams. Four years and a degree later, I met him again... while working at Pizza Hut. FML

by mylifeisfed / 11/04/2009 at 7:56am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, my son told me he lost the envelope with all the money he earned selling Cub Scout popcorn. The popcorn was delivered already, and the money needs to be turned in to the pack leader tonight. I just spent $220 on popcorn my neighbors are eating. FML

by ifyouseekmylife / 10/25/2009 at 11:44am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised that the last three people to see my intimate parts these last weeks were my beautician, my doctor and the lady who did my check up ultra sound. Oh, and I'm married. FML

by loveless / 10/18/2009 at 6:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I chose to wear khaki dress pants to class to look professional. I was in the hallway when one of my professors pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling well. Apparently, the dryer had "eaten" my pants and made a large brown stain on the butt, making it look like I had crapped myself. FML

by coolchicka05 / 10/06/2009 at 4:28am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous