About cmayer : .
cmayer's FML badges
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
cmayer's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
by fuckyoutoo / 03/24/2013 at 7:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 11:21am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/01/2013 at 5:13pm / Romania (Cluj) / Work
Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML
by oh gee, you don't say / 12/15/2012 at 1:43pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Miscellaneous
by Teddy / 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML
by scaredinnyc / 11/13/2012 at 8:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend had a tantrum because I didn't like Black Sabbath as much as him. Apparently our entire relationship was based on him thinking I did. I've now been labeled "The Queen of Lies." FML
by Anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 1:39am / Australia (Tasmania) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by madmomma / 07/25/2012 at 3:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/15/2012 at 10:13am / United States / Miscellaneous
by rawr_fml001 / 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by sockmonkey / 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, someone spray painted a black skull on the side of my house. We painted over it and installed lights to hopefully persuade intruders not to vandalize the property because it would be a bright area. The lights were stolen. FML
by andromeda80 / 03/28/2012 at 9:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by me / 03/14/2012 at 11:19am / United States (Florida) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 01/21/2012 at 3:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Money
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…